Mitt Romney’s Very Bad Incredibly Horrible Fucking Awful Week ended yesterday (although the hits just keep on coming) but that hasn’t kept his campaign from doing their job and continually playing Marry, Fuck, or Kill? with the base in an effort to find just the right kind of sugar that will make the Mitt go down.  Last week they floated Condi Rice but she likes killing babies and maybe Jews, so she would be a ‘no go’ with the Evangelical set who loves them some forced birthin’ and also need the Jews to stand around and hold their coats when the End Times come. (Hint: maybe you shouldn’t buy any green bananas the week of 12/17/2012. You’re welcome!).

Today we are being treated to The Bobby Jindal Experience  (you may remember Jindal from break out performance as ‘Kenneth of the Bayou’ in State of the Union: The Aw-Shucksing) because the Romney people want the minorities to go first in order to prove they are not racist, and because Bobby comes after Condi, but before Marco Rubio, on the Pantone Formula Guide For Vetting.

Show us what you got,  Bobby:

On Monday, Jindal, who backed Texas Gov. Rick Perry in the primary contest, joined Romney for a high-dollar fundraising luncheon with supporters in Baton Rouge, fueling more debate about his chances of becoming the running mate.

Romney announced in a note to supporters last week that he will name his pick before the Republican National Convention in August, dubbing the ticket “America’s Comeback Team.”

[...]

Since the primaries, Romney has made overtures to social conservatives, including a speech at Liberty University in May, and his team seemed to cave to evangelicals who balked at his choice of an openly gay national security campaign adviser — Richard A. Grenell, who resigned after being sidelined by the campaign.

With his teenage conversion from Hinduism to Catholicism and ironclad antiabortion views, Jindal would excite the ­social-conservative base, which is not sold on Romney.

“Jindal would be very, very well received among evangelicals. I hear nothing but rave reviews from evangelicals in Louisiana about how he has given them access and developed a relationship that is better than any other governor that they have ever had. What most evangelicals have been saying to the campaign is that it has to be somebody pro-life,” said Richard Land of the Southern Baptist Convention. “And he also counterbalances the elitist claim [because] he is an up-from-the-ranks guy, and it helps to have someone on the ticket who is from Main Street, not Wall Street.”

Also, with Jindal, you avoid the kind of financial shenanigans that sometimes can make even an Olympics-saving job creator look like a bloodsucking greedhead.

Well, not all of the financial shenanigans:

Louisiana’s biggest corporate players, many with long agendas before the state government, are restricted in making campaign contributions to Gov. Bobby Jindal. But they can give whatever they like to the foundation set up by his wife months after he took office.

AT&T, which needed Mr. Jindal, a Republican, to sign off on legislation allowing the company to sell cable television services without having to negotiate with individual parishes, has pledged at least $250,000 to the Supriya Jindal Foundation for Louisiana’s Children.

Marathon Oil, which last year won approval from the Jindal administration to increase the amount of oil it can refine at its Louisiana plant, also committed to a $250,000 donation. And the military contractor Northrop Grumman, which got state officials to help set up an airplane maintenance facility at a former Air Force base, promised $10,000 to the charity.

The foundation has collected nearly $1 million in previously unreported pledges from major oil companies, insurers and other corporations in Louisiana with high-stakes regulatory issues, according to a review by The New York Times.

[...]

AT&T, which needed Mr. Jindal, a Republican, to sign off on legislation allowing the company to sell cable television services without having to negotiate with individual parishes, has pledged at least $250,000 to the Supriya Jindal Foundation for Louisiana’s Children.

Marathon Oil, which last year won approval from the Jindal administration to increase the amount of oil it can refine at its Louisiana plant, also committed to a $250,000 donation. And the military contractor Northrop Grumman, which got state officials to help set up an airplane maintenance facility at a former Air Force base, promised $10,000 to the charity.

The foundation has collected nearly $1 million in previously unreported pledges from major oil companies, insurers and other corporations in Louisiana with high-stakes regulatory issues, according to a review by The New York Times.

Piyush-posh. Nothing to see there. Move along.

Now all Bobby has to do is reconcile his belief in the casting out of Satan while the vessel is still alive with Mitt Romney’s inclination to just wait it out and swoop in postmortem.

Body Snatcher/Exorcist 2012!