Kill, kill, kill!!! War, war, war!!! Help, help, help????

Ayn Rand weeps for thee, Tucker Carlson.

Jaysus. So looking at some naked people deems the site “unsafe” but giving away a gun to someone who fills out a short questionnaire (sample question: What should we do with the hacker when we find him or her?) got the site back into the safe zone? And I guess the marketing department missed the recent news from Aurora. Or, more depressingly, they have decided to capitalize on it.

We are failing as a society faster than a young George W. in Calculus II.

You know Carlson is the hacker — he’ll do anything for publicity.

What is going on at the Daily Joke?

“Black pastor accuses Obama of condoning child rape by supporting gay marriage”

“Man assaults girlfriend after seeing Romney photo on her Facebook page”

“Prep school bully’ vs. primary school puppy-eater”

And we have some Olympics Trash Talk.

“Is Team USA having too much sex in London?”

The author says Yes, too much sex and the US team is not focused.

From the thousands of condoms emblazoned with the Olympic rings that are shipped to the athletes’ dwellings, to women’s soccer leader Hope Solo’s admission that the Games are basically just one big, toned orgy, it’s easy to assume that Team USA’s head is buried in the bosom of a fellow athlete rather than focused on the competition.

I did it Tucker! I did it. Bring me my new gun and meet me in the alley behind the Tucker Carlson Porn Shop at midnight. Come alone.

Tucker “The Walking Talking Turd” Carlson and his website are obscenities every day of the week.

I’d really like to say that this is “unreal” and that I’m “shocked” that Tucker-the-Fucker would do something like this. While publicity whore Carlson professes to be shocked by porn (yeah, right), he’s quite eager to stoop to using gun porn to gin up his, uh, “readership.”

This is one case where I suggest getting out of the boat to look at the comments at the link TBogg also provided above. Pretty amusing.

…”We are failing as a society faster than a young George W. in Calculus II.”…

Say what?

George W made it to Calc II?

Seriously????

.

George W made it to Calc II?

Yeah. He bought the answers to the Calc I final.

…the Games are basically just one big, toned orgy, it’s easy to assume that Team USA’s head is buried in the bosom of a fellow athlete rather than focused on the competition.

Considering the fact that the Olympics is composed of 1000′s of extraordinarily healthy and competitive 20 somethings, it is a fucking miracle any thing else gets done.

Tucker’s got a gun
Tucker’s got a gun
His website’s gone undone
Some hacker’s havin’ fun
What can poor Tucker do?
Hold his breath until he turns blue?
Cause Google says he’s dirty and they don’t wanna give his link to you?

Yeah. He (George W) bought the answers to the Calc I final.

Well.

On the plus side, I guess that’s better than buying off the TA.

Mr. Carlson’s name just makes you want to sing that song…Fee Fi Mo Sucker…you know which song I’m thinking of.

While it’s well established that Carlson is a hack, I don’t know that it’s ever been proven that he’s a hacker. The evidence seems to indicate that he isn’t; after all, hackers have useful skills.

The picture would be more relevant if it were Tucker Carlson.

I’m sure it was some Muscovite hacker mad at Tucker for some slight to Mother Russia.

Please describe how you would go about finding the hacker

I would use my HackerFinder3000.

Briefly describe your cybercrime credentials

Well, I hacked your site. Any questions?

What should we do with the hacker when we find him or her?

Shut down your stoopid website Give me the gun like you promised.

I wasn’t gonna fill out Tucker’s Stoopid Form but tommo@5 made me do it!

I hope whoever did it doubles down and really fucks up his wannabe site.

Yeah. He bought the answers to the Calc I final.

For a feller challenged by My Pet Goat I hope he never ventures into Baa, Baa Black Sheep or Goldilocks and the Three Bears…

Typical Republican pussy. He wants to fight, but he’s gonna outsource it.

Fuck you, Tucky, you pussy, why don’t you ask one of those young, strapping, avoid-the-military-like-the-fucking-plague Romney boys to get your back.

Yes, and he’ll even give you the gun. Oh wait, isn’t that what the army does? Is tucker the army now?

There were some extremely inappropriate ads placed on our homepage

So nothing about bowtie-wearing peckwoods with sticks up their asses, huh? The shit’s gettin’ real all over, ain’t it, Tuck?

Is tucker the army now?

Wouldn’t he have to be a well-regulated militia, first?

Oh, wait….not possible, because there’s that tuckerarian kryptonite again.

The word that starts with ‘r’, I mean.

This is too funny.
I’m going to laugh now….

Lesson number two in the conservative playbook is entitled, “How to burn a Reichstag.” It follows and compliments lesson number one: “How to name things the opposite of what they really are?”

OMG you weren’t kidding. I needed a good belly-laugh this morning.

It will likely trace back to a Russian botnet, cause the pr0n hacks generally do. Thus, per Occam’s Razor, it can only mean one thing: The Ruskies did it! Clearly a Black Bag op by the KGB to support their sleeper agent in the White House to shut down the only source where people can hear The Truth, man. Keep watching the skies!