One of the orderlies at the Brighter Tomorrow Reverse Mortgage Senior Center has wheeled Country Bear Jamboree Fred Thompson (remember his presidency?) into the dayroom where upon Fred proceeds to O-pine and fulminate about them outside agitators and smarty-pants city folk who are wantin’ to do some of that fancy school-larn’d cypherin’ on the paperwork that the dad-blamed revenuers make ol’ Smokey Mitt Romney fill out every year.

Fred hitches up his britches, adjusts hisself, and proceeds to illuminate and elucidate:

Mitt Romney has said he will release and make public a total of two years of income-tax returns. It looks as if the Obamaites will have a collective fit if he doesn’t release more. I say let ’em.

These tax-return demands are just one of the ways politics gives us an excuse for doing what we could not otherwise get away with.

An adult watching movies every day during daylight hours would be frowned upon (unless he were a movie critic). A middle-aged man poring over reams of pornographic material would be ostracized (unless he were a judge hearing a case about that subject matter). But a political race allows us, as “concerned citizens,” to consume information about what a candidate did with his lunch money in junior high, as well as whom his wife dated when she was a teenager.

Why, hells fire Fred, that was you’n:

Thanks. I’ll be here all week.

Try the applesauce and don’t forget to make a BM for your night nurse….