Ben Quayle is the Master of SCHWING!

All of the rumors are true.

I can already hear the punditocracy whining about how mean liberals are to make fun of the Dangerous When Wet Congressional Baptismal Follies. Gosh, where’s Esther Williams when you need her?

Why did some House Republicans jump into the ‘Sea of Galilee’ last year?

They were looking for one of Mitt Romney’s off-shore tax havens.

==

How much wine did the House Republicans drink before jumping into the ‘Sea of Galilee’ last year?

Like Mitt Romney’s taxes, nobody really knows how much.

So glad John Cole recommended a look. That title has made my day.

So there were Members flexing their members in the Sea of Galilee?

Aqua Buddah!
::

The title of this posting is a terribly humorous way to start my work week.

This happened last summer? Let me guess – It was right around the time that the same individuals were berating their colleague Anthony “Underpants” Weiner (D-NY) for his disgraceful antics.

Dude is such a downer

You know you’re a downer when you scold Rep. Steve Southerland II, funeral home owner.

For sheer slapstick value, this is almost as good as Cheney shooting a guy in the face… and this time, nobody got hurt — except of course the poor people who saw Yoder’s junk. Perhaps the United States owes Israel an apology (but, then, we always seem to think we owe Israel an apology and a few billion dollars in arms for good measure).

I guess this means they will cancel this year’s planned “Noodling in the Jordan” event.

Not all that unfamiliar to Ben Quayle – after all, the desert, late nights…

“If you’re the son of a certain former vice president — and may have some political ambitions of your own — and feel the need to spill your guts about your broken “moral compass,” you’re gonna need an alter ego. Otherwise, your “Dirty” ways could come back to haunt you in a very public way. And you don’t want that. GOP congressional candidate Ben Quayle’s alter ego, while ultimately not alter-ego-y enough to avoid being revealed, takes the cake. While writing for “The Dirty,” Quayle penned articles under the name “Brock Landers” — a fictional porn star from the movie Boogie Nights. What better way for the son of a “family values” politician to throw any nemesis off his trail than to assume the identity of a fictional porn star. His true identity probably never would have been outed, either, if it weren’t for a super villain with an alter ego of his own: the notorious “Nik Richie.”"
(Phx New Times, ‘Best Alter Ego’, 2010)

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…

This is kind of a non-story to me, except for the fact that if it were a Democratic member of congress, it would have been the number one story on Fox News for weeks. Getting drunk and skinny dipping is no big deal, although doing it around your colleagues children, even adult children, is a little creepy. I suppose it’s a good thing that people hear more about the sleazy perks that get thrown at congress critters in order to buy them.

Prelude to legitimate rape, no doubt, so no harm would be done.

actually the ‘gaza strip’ is a regional style of bikini waxing favored by jews and muslims alike

Honest question here…

Is it considered bad form to go wading or swiming in the Sea of Galilee as a rule or no? I never thought about it before, and I know it has that whole “sacred” thing going for Xtians, but is there any official rule/law that prevents using it recreationally? (The nudity bit I can understand being wrong – you can’t legally skinny-dip most places)

Did the Congressmen who swim all have their wives there? If not well swimming with one nakid guy and a Congressman’s daughter fully clothed well someone got laid that night and if the wives were not around they either got it from the congressman’s daughter, any other females around or the nude Congressman.

Yoder is writing Todd Akin a thank you note even as we speak.

Many of the lawmakers who ventured into the lake said they did so because of the religious significance of the waters.

Right the first guy who goes swimming nude was conducting a baptism and soon all the Congressmen wanted to have their heads dunked under the water by a nude guy to be Born Again.

What wife will believe that story?

Just what kind of Father lets their daughter swim with a nakid man when they are watching? Does anyone know this Congressman’s name?

I am a Lefty all for sex but not if my parents are watching uh sorry thats to kinky for me.

SO the story is about swimming and drinking but NOT how these people are corrupt and taking money from foreign agents in turn for their votes!

another fine job from fdl

How to Visit the Sea of Galilee

The Sea of Galilee, sometimes called Lake Kinneret, is one of the most famous and interesting freshwater lakes on earth. As the lowest freshwater lake on the planet, and also the place where the Bible says much of the ministry of Jesus Christ took place, the Sea of Galilee offers visitors unmatched terrain and an exceedingly rich history. Follow these steps if you’re looking to visit the Sea of Galilee.

Pick the right time of year to go. A visit to the Sea of Galilee is best spent if you can swim in the water and enjoy the vacation atmosphere of the area during the warmer months. The best time to go is early to mid-spring, when the temperature is warm enough for swimming but not warm enough to attract hordes of Israeli vacationers.

Rep. Steve Southerland (R-Fla.) and his daughter;

I have to stop skimming. Why was the FBI investigating unless there is some question of something illegal as opposed to perverted going on were there nakid lobbyists there also?

NOT how these people are corrupt and taking money from foreign agents in turn for their votes!

Sex for favors not cash this time.

One should never try to walk on water in the Sea of Galilee without one’s swimsuit.

…or two wetsuits and a dildo. YMMV.

got ripped to the gills on Manischewitz (Jewish Zima)

Line of the week, and it isn’t even noon Monday.

I think the FBI is looking into violations of the “arising under” clause.

Cantor reportedly cried loudly, “Demonic lawmakers, I rebuke you!”

Grimm went for a swim? I wonder if his rabbi was there? (This is one weird dude…)

I wonder how many of these Congressmen are Family Values Congressmen?

People swim all the time in the Galilee. In fact, there are numerous public beaches, private hotels, kibbutz guest houses, and other places to take a dip. Going nekkid isn’t really a big deal either, in my opinion. Only religious prudes (of all stripes) get their swimtrunks in a bunch over beach nudity.

No wonder Obama has to go around the world apologizing for US behavior.

All seriousness aside,

1) Why is this coming to light a year after the fact?

2) What are the crimes the FBI are investigating?

Thanks, Guys!

From Rep. Steve Southland’s official biography page:

Representative Southerland believes the best way to keep America strong is to empower its people, not government bureaucrats. Expanding personal freedom by shrinking the size of government. Fueling the engine of free enterprise through lower taxes and less regulation. Supporting a responsible pro-family agenda that strengthens homes and teaches our children how to succeed. These are the bedrock principles that secure the blessings of liberty for future generations.

[emphasis supplied}

Taking your daughter on a drunken junket and allowing a male to strip down in front of her should accomplish bedrock principal.

saying they were distracting from the mission of the trip.

Which was what, exactly?

AIPAC took these folks to Tiberias for what reason, exactly?

I mean aside from the corruption and graft.

The fact finding trip involved staying at the mind-bendingly bizarre Scots hotel and getting all liquored up at the appropriately named Decks

The American Israel Educational Foundation, a group related to AIPAC, the prominent pro-Israel advocacy group, sponsored the trip, which ran from Aug. 13 to Aug. 21, 2011. The trip cost AIEF upwards of $10,000 per person, according to records filed with the House Ethics Committee. More than 60 people took part in this AIEF trip.

These trips to the Holy Land are a rite of passage for members of Congress, as they visit the most sacred sites in the Jewish and Christian faiths – while their Israeli government hosts drive home the huge importance of U.S. support of Israel. That’s partially why, when the trip devolved into drinking and merrymaking, Cantor was livid.

Only religious prudes (of all stripes) get their swimtrunks in a bunch over beach nudity.

Naw us immoral Lefties do have every reason to laugh when the people who call us immoral act more perverted than we would ever dream.
A Woman in the water with a nakid guy and X amount of other guys I am fine with but with her parents watching sorry that is perverted.

Did Wembley approve the new Site Scold? That poor pup must be terribly overworked lately.

Lets not forget several Congressmen had their wives at this party too. Call me old fashion but a guy gets nakid in front of your wife you either tell the drunk get some clothes on and get him a cab home, leave the party, or if he gets to near your wife punch his face in.
If he gets near your daughter you also punch his face in.

On June 15, 2011, Anthony Weiner was “exposed” for having sexted a photo of his undie-clad junk to a 21 year old intern. This led to Weiner having to resign in disgrace.

Kevin exposed his unclad Yoder to the Sea of Gallilee on August 18, 2011 in the company of at least one young woman, whilst on a boondoggle “junk-et” to Israel.

So will Yoder have to resign in disgrace? Or is this yet another chapter in the IOKIYAR Kabuki Show??

Interesting how Weiner’s activities resulted in fevered commentary 24/7 on our fabulous “nooz” MSM, but we are only just now learning about Yoder’s antics a year later… bc of some FBI investigation, no less. Yet another fine example of just how “liberal” the media is – eh? No doubt Team USA’s insanely “liberal” media will quickly shove this story onto the back pages.

Typical.

Not only is this disgraceful, but it’s stupid. Every guy know you don’t jump into cold water at night naked due to “shrinkage”.

I know! Just that fact, alone, makes this Yoder unfit for his job! heh…

I just love how these morans are now trying to make it into something religulous. Why, Mr. FBI person, I was just, uh, so overcome with the Holy Spirt that I pounded down numerous tequila shooters, and why then, uh, the spirit moved me to baptise my junk in the holy sea … ‘mkay?!?

Yoder’s running unopposed, but that doesn’t mean there’s no opposition

http://www.facebook.com/CongressmanKevinYoder/posts/430005073719078

They mistook the Sea of Galilee for the Ganges?

Ooopsies!

Might as well have stayed home and gone to fucking Epcot…

I think they frown on nudity at Epcot–although as someone noted further up the board, most Israelis don’t give a wanker’s damn about occasional late night skinny dipping among the tourons. After all, it’s not like their kids are being exposed to fat Quebecois in teeny Speedos in broad daylight!

But seriously, make them pay for the trip with interest, tax penalties, and any other penalties that apply, out of their salaries, and I’m a happy camper. And make it clear that the same will apply to anyone who gives the slightest appearance of having FUN on any publicly financed junket.

+1000 for the post title, but -999 for that terrible slander (one might almost say blood concord grape libel) against Zima.

Thanks for the info. I think I just might have to show up for that.

TBogg–I am so tired of you getting it wrong regarding these fine Christian Americans. Having been to Galilee I know the feeling. For your information, what they did is known as “self-baptism.” Who are you to make fun of this special religious experience?

Who’d a thunk the monk would slunk to Israel without his trunks?

All right, which one(s) of you jokers is spoiling the Facebook page of the Hon. Congresstud Nekkid Dood (linked by basilbeast above) with snark? Hmmm???

Visiting the Holy Land, Yoder was just overwhelmed with religious inspiration —
“Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me” — Psalm 23:4

“next thing you know clothes were flying off and everyone was a’splishing and a’splashing in the throes”…

Since “Splish Splash” was my very first and very cherished 45 rpm record, I just want to indulge, for the slightest of reasons, to run through the memory lane of Bobby Darin’s songs. OK?

my little rendition goes like this:

Kevin Yoder starts his career on the Kansas “Rock Island Line” and somehow ends up going to Israel to show his “Timber” ,or, um, “Silly Willy” and pretends to be a “Blue Eyed Mermaid” in the waters of the Galilee.
Working for “The Greatest Builder Of Them All” and the GOP “Dealer In Dreams”, (Grover Norquist), Kevin calls to the Koch Brothers, “Help Me” to be a “Million Dollar Baby” and “Don’t Call My Name” out loud, (accept at ALEC teach-ins), if you can avoid it. “Just In Case You Change Your Mind” and want to come clean on how you’re all “So Mean” and everything.
Going “Splish Splash” in the Sea of Galilee leads Kevin to implore the “Jud(iciar)y, Don’t Be Moody” with him with regards to his “Early in the Morning” swim.
“Now We’re One” great (corporate) nation that turns to a “Mighty, Mighty Man” like Kevin to inform the vestiges of democracy “You’re Gone” something like the progressive “Bull moose” Party is gone.
“Mack the Knife” got Kevin to join him way “Beyond The Sea” because “That’s The Way Love Is”. It’s a “Tall Story” of “Won’t You Come Home Bill”? (to destroy the social insurance system) and “I’ll Be There” like a wine drinking, crazed, and naked “Beachcomber” until the “Autumn Blues” put him away.
“Artificial Flowers” can be sent to “Somebody To Love”, like Kevin, a “Child Of God” in commemoration of his happily dunking his junk in the closest “Lazy River” before getting on the “Oo-Ee Train” as the newly famous “Nature Boy”. “Sorrow Tomorrow” perhaps, but it’s all “Irresistible You” today with all your “Multiplication” of ALEC connived, voter suppression laws and “What’d I Say”…

“Distractions” “Jive” “Sweet Reason” “Maybe We Can Get It Together” “Rx Pyro (Prescription: Fire)” “Simple Song Of Freedom” “Sail Away” “Average People” and be “Happy”!

He was just teaching his daughter how to succeed. Seems like the shortcut to success, “See, Honey, ya gotta party hearty, and you can get a lot further with folks if you’ll take your clothes off…” but I guess he probably knew what he was doing. Ewwwwww.

Bobby Darrin sang Nature Boy? Eden Ahbez’ Nature Boy?

Kuhl.

Sitting here in Feenix, whilst Little Ben scrambles to hold onto his HR seat, the AZ Republic ‘reports’:

” Quayle was in Israel with his pregnant wife, Tiffany, who on Sunday night put out a statement saying the couple was neither witness to nor party to any of the inappropriate behavior described in the Politico story.

Jay Heiler, a Quayle campaign spokesman, on Monday said Quayle did go swimming that night but “not in the way” that the story decribed.

“A bunch of people went swimming at different points in the evening,” Heiler told The Arizona Republic. “Ben went swimming for less than 30 seconds and not as part of a large group of people, and not in the presence of Mr. Yoder. Any of that that happened, happened later after he and Tiffany were gone.”

Heiler said Quayle drank only a single glass of wine with his dinner and that his wife didn’t drink at all because of her pregnancy. Quayle also also did not witness any other House colleagues engaging in heavy drinking, Heiler said.

Heiler said Quayle was never contacted by the FBI and never heard of anybody else being contacted by the FBI.

“This is a horrible injustice that’s been done here,” Heiler said.”

Just a HORRIBLE INJUSTICE. Tiffany haz a sad.

All these hard-partying folks owe Todd Akin, and owe him big. The least they could do is send him their unused Hooters discount coupons.

Dunked Junk Punks Skunk

partying like it was 29 AD

LOL.

Swimming in the lake is permitted but public nudity is not allowed, according to Israeli police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld.

“If someone walks around the beach naked, that’s an offence,” Rosenfeld said, adding that no official complaint had been made against Yoder. He would not rule out charges, saying it was possible even a year after the offence was committed.

Never mind that this is a designated holy place, but prancing around public beaches in the nude is generally not legal in the United States either. What is it about these clowns when they travel abroad? Do they think that because they’re no longer in ‘murica they can just do as they damn well please?

Could it be possible that Kevin Yoder is the new Wilbur Mills?

Don’t be ridiculous. Wilbur Mills actually accomplished some things.

The drinking part perhaps, but certainly not the political part.

Wilbur Mills accomplishments in Congress included playing a large role in the creation of the Medicare program. Mills initially had reservations about the program because he was worried about the eventual cost, but eventually shepherded it through Congress and had a large hand in shaping its program. Mills was also acknowledged as the primary tax expert in the Congress and the leading architect of the Tax Reform Act of 1969. Mills favored a conservative fiscal approach, adequate tax revenue to fund government programs, a balanced budget, while also supporting various social programs, especially Social Security and Disability, adding farmers to Social Security, unemployment compensation, and national health insurance.

And that’s why the world’s lowest freshwater lake is even lower, and why it has that “not-so-fresh” feeling.

He could be the new Fanny Fox.

LOL

Okay, okay… where should I deliver your brand new, shiny internetz?

LOVE IT!!! Was Fanne Foxe there too?? (Good times, good times… thanks for the memories, and all the rest of you kids can get offa our lawns.)

Dream Lover?

The location might lend itself more to Gospel:

AIPAC threw a junket // for the GOP // Go tell my congressmen // to meet me in Galilee //
Tell me who’s that streaking? Kev the legislator.