Ronald Reagan’s official dirty limerick writer and sodden Irish niece Peggy Noonan was just being helpful when she started giving advice to balky word-saying machine Mitt Romney in an effort to help him in his quest to become America’s Cool Dad father figure.

Maybe start things off with a joke, she said, like those “Yo mama” ones or “playing the dozens” ones like the blah people do on that Apollo show that she once stumbled upon on that black teevee network:

He must use humor, for three reasons. One is that wit breaks through and sharpens all points. Another is that it is natural to him. Before the voting in Iowa, he wryly told a friend that the caucuses were like the LaBrea Tar Pits: “No one comes out the way they went in.” On a conference call recently, he asked a question of his staff. No one answered. Mr. Romney waited. “Bueller? Bueller?” he said, in a perfect imitation of Ben Stein.

Third, President Obama can’t stand to be made fun of. His pride won’t allow it, his amour propre cannot countenance a joke at his own expense. If Mr. Romney lands a few very funny lines about the president’s leadership, Mr. Obama will freak out. That would be fun, wouldn’t it?

Ha ha ha. That joke from Ferris Bueller. Good one! What a card. Do Caddyshack now because that stuff is always golden and has never gone out of style with white men in the fifty to I-love-a-good-golf-joke demographic.

So how did Mitt Romney do on his own?

Oh snap! ‘Yo momma so po’ she had to marry a Kenyan‘. Awesome.

Congratulations Mitt Romney, you are now just as funny as short fingered TV vulgarian Donald Trump but without having to lower yourself by wearing a comical fright-wig which, most comedians agree, is kind of a cheap way to get a laugh.