Having alienated the poors, blahs, olds, browns, gayz, wimmens, youngs, and unions, Mitt Romney is now attempting to throw his largest constituency (middle-aged white men who look at their wives and don’t see a busty MILF cheerleader/boss/teacher/furry butt-slut, so they go back to watching SportsCenter) under the bang bus:
Mitt Romney’s campaign told a leading anti-pornography group that the Republican nominee will pursue and prosecute pornography if elected President.
Three months ago, well after Romney became the presumptive Republican nominee, his campaign held multiple meetings with Morality in Media, a group which describes itself as the “leading national organization opposing pornography and indecency,” according to executive director Dawn Hawkins. She told ThinkProgress that they had met with Alex Wong, Romney’s political director and legal policy adviser, to discuss the issue of pornography and what he would do about it if elected president.
During that meeting, Wong allegedly told Morality in Media that the campaign “would pursue prosecutions” of pornography and that the issue is “important to them.” The Romney campaign met with the organization “a number of times” in the past three months, Hawkins said.
Once all of the pornography is gone from the internet, angry white dudes will only be left with ambassador rape slash fiction, Ross Douthat’s Tales Of Almost Conquest, and Michelle Malkin cheerleader videos.
Then nobody wins.
Nobody.





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Is there a movie with Lisa Ann as a cheerleader? I need it to cleanse my mind of the Malkin, before Mitt makes me keep my mitts off my proud American.
This, of course, comes after Mormon-controlled Marriott Hotels have phased out adult content video services. Until then, Marriott was estimated to be making $175 per room per year with their pay-per-screw videos.
Much like Rimbaud, Michelle Malkin did her best work at a precocious age.
“What lie must I maintain? In what blood tread?”
Bog bless her and her tiny pom poms.
“Rape and murder” of Ambassador Stevens? WTF? Is this a wingnut talking point?
I have read the wingnuts characterizing the Libyans carrying Stevens to the hospital as “dragging him through the streets,” but I had no idea there was a rape fiction going on.
and, no there’s no way you will get me to click “play” on that video, no matter how blatantly and shamelessly you flaunt it before my innocent eyes.
From the title, I was expecting some fap-worthiness in the illustrations. Instead, I saw the Malkin cheerleader video, and my dick shrank three sizes.
Scott Adams doesn’t like Romney’s odds.
Hear that America?
Mitt Romney pledges to “pry your dick from your cold, dead hands!”
Ed Meese is (amazingly) still alive, so I’m sure he can be brought back in a special advisory role.
Judging from what I see down here if you drive either a honkin’ huge truck that never hauls anything heavier than your wife or a trashy “sports” car with an inadequate muffler you can regain those lost inches, at least if you drive extremely aggressively. (Stop signs and red lights are optional when driving such a dick-enhancer, so that may appeal as well…)
A friend of mine asked a Mormon colleague about porn in the Marriotts, and he said, “Hey, it’s bidness.”
One more thing: let the market decide. I’lll bet they’ll eventually, but quietly, restore the porn.
I think it’s because people can simple stream endless amounts of porn on the Internet these days and they can bill them for the connection.
And I predict that Mitt’s got the scold vote LOCKED UP with this kind of daring.
I can’t think of a better person to discuss porn with than Ah Likes Wang.
Gosh, I wonder if any of the “down with porn” newly disclosed attitude by RMoney might have something to do with Larry Flynt’s offer of a cool $million for info about those “supposedly purloined” tax returns?
Either Flynt has data and RMoney is trying a preemptive strike, or he might just be punishing Flynt for getting the press on an issue he wishes would go away.
Unemployment’s around 8.1%. The USA porn industry provides some, uh, skin in the game for many citizens who would probably otherwise be unemployed, plus Benjamens flowing into our weakened economy.
What a great idea to kill one of the few remaining ca$h cow$ for the 99%, Bishop Prude.
Flynt would putt the Mittstake through his iconic meat grinder if he was ever dumb enough to go after him.
If all that is left of unredeemable social value on the internets is that Malkin video then the terrorists will have won.
The pursuit of fappiness is a hard earned right.
Utah is one of the largest porn consumers per-capita in the nation. But Rmoney probably still has that state sewn up.
They talked about porn with Wong?
I have to go lie down.
I just wonder what Jill stein has to say about this proposed anti-porn crusade.
Plus, I bet Romney will use secret anti-porn drones to kill all the pornographers.
I just wonder what Jill stein has to say about this proposed anti-porn crusade.
I don’t know, but her policy positions seem to overlap a lot with Krugman’s (I know, CRAZEEEE, huh?). Maybe you should ask him.
Wong, Wang, hell be glad it wasn’t Long Duc Dong.
Maybe Romney can hire K-Lo for the porn crusader job and move Wong to the Asian desk.
Wow, that’s fucking amazing! You mean a liberal-minded person shares positions with a liberal-minded economist? Fuckin-A, homes, next you’re gonna tell me Jill Stein supports affordable health care!
Next thing you know we’ll have state houses, congress and governor’s mansions filled with motherfucking Green Party leaders and lawmakers!
Oops, that’s right, before that happens we have to make sure Romney wins the motherfucking election so that the shit gets really, really bad and Americans will then wake up from their mega-meal induced comas and all of a sudden become rational, agreeable and informed players in the political process.
Just send me my goddamned sparkle pony through snail mail, no need to overnight it.
Actually, I had a bet with a friend that “sparkle pony” would be in a response.
If I were an American in a swing state, I would vote Obama, and encourage everyone I knew to do the same.
I just wanted to confirm my suspicion that knees in this place were healthily jerking. Thanks.
Wow, you had a bet and you won! If I had a swing set I would swing on it every day and sing sweet, sweet love songs to Green Party candidates whose only chance of impacting the real world of American politics is … is… oh, who the fuck am I kidding?
Green Party candidates have as much bearing on the upcoming election as the man with a boot on his head. You’re purity trolls, nothing more and nothing less. But you keep on winning those bets oh internet prophet!
This is just getting embarassing. From foreign policy disaster to porn prudishness. Please, please Mitt, give a “major address” on tax policy. Or howzabout another interview with Ann-toinette? Yeah, that’s the ticket!
Jeez, Willard’s the best the GOP could come up with?
I agree that Green Party candidates have zero chance of impacting American politics. The fact that you don’t see that as sad is er, sad.
Keep incrementing yourself off that cliff, sunshine.
didn’t someone say the porn industry hires people? So this will fit right in with her plan to employ more people. I can get behind that. i wanna see the debate between her and the mittster.
We’ll always have Ken Starr. And Monica’s peddling a new book.
Ya got some glitter stuck to your shoe.
I thought Obama was the best the GOP could come up with…
I’ll give up my Playboy when the pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Twins are always in demand, so
blowjob creating could be twice as easy…This must be what the collective refers to as “filleting”. Very devastating, I must say.
Why are all you guys wearing overcoats for?
No porn? Just wtf are they supposed to do with their medicare/insurance provided Viagra and Cialis?
yaaaaaawn….
In a trickle-down economy, wearing an overcoat is prudent.
Could I just say, as a woman, Romney has the most off-putting, gag-inducing, non-sexual, weird WALK I have ever seen. I wouldn’t vote for a Republican anyway (I have a brain) but my first reaction when I saw him walk was, “Oh, hell no!” It’s not femine, it’s not HUMAN. What the hell is it? This not on point, but it actually is….because….ladies??? Is this why he is going after something very few normal people care about? He really, reaaly can’t see the appeal?
Is this where they keep the sparkle ponies? That’s prolly where the glitter came from
Larry, what are they doing? Get those tax returns put there quick.
Is it Ro-Bot? Is it O-Bot?
Nopers, it’s Mitt-Bot! Ultra-he-manny, man man, King of the Elephant Tribe!
And Romney continues to accelerate towards the event horizon.
Let’s campaign on imaginary issues and against an imaginary version of Obama.
Because if we just believe hard enough it will alter reality. Because magic.
You know Mitt is probably whacking away to a playboy from 1955 right now. And his little Stepford wife is on the other side of one of the mansions furiously cleaning the self cleaning oven. Or watching a maid clean it.
The really nifty ones poop glitter and bacon!
Malkin cheerleader pr0n never gets old. Never.
He’ll show those A-rabs. They’d get a load of him walking to a podium and think, “Oooooh, I’m scared….what the hell IS that?” Can anyone imagine having to watch that for 4 years?
Pastor Niemoller WAS right, they are coming for me now.
That’s great.
This thread needs some SCIENCE!
Surfs up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BOhDaJH0m4
Lights up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snSIRJ2brEk
That’s part of the worst hard times that’ll bring about the Green Spring-a-doodle…
Actually, one last thing…
It’s fifty-odd days until the election, Romney needs 64 electoral votes, and THIS is where he spends his time?
Shouldn’t he be filling stadiums with cheering crowds ready to go out and set the world on fire to get him elected? Or at least watch the world burn?
And yeah, Michelle Malkin needs to get laid. No, it really wouldn’t help, but I like saying it.
You’re kidding, right? Filling stadiums with cheering crowds? Yeah, you’re kidding. Tell you what, I’ll whore myself out for a gazillion dollars to be a female in the photo op background for the asshole and after I get the $$$ tell the world what I really think about Romney. It’s not Maddowesque, buck fk ‘em, give me the money and pray it’s Romney’s, Sheldon’s or anyone named Koch’s money. It’s soooo Bainish.
True that!
For some fucked up reason it always reminds me of the Ren-n-Stimpy Rubber Nipple Salesmen episode….
Romney won’t fill stadiums with cheering crowds.
He knows the drones are waiting…above…always…above…
Also, too.
Blows up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrnGi-q6iWc
No, no…black Blackhawks. See that? It’s very, very BLACK.
There’s plenty of those in Los Angeles, too. Some of them like to drive their vehicles in the middle of the night, so they annoy as many people as possible.
Oh noez! he’s going top bomb the hell out of my area!
Gee, Mitt’s grandpa was into multiple wives so I have no doubt he is a chip off of the old block.
If the Democratic Party nominated Krugman for president I would vote for him because my economic policy preferences are also basically based on Paul Krugman’s.
He walks like his arms are bolted to his ribs at the biceps.
And with those huge congressional majorities (which he has almost completely donated to the GOP…) Barack Obama has been such a wonderful champion of the poor, the olds, the gayz, the wimmens, and the Unions, and the browns?
Oh, crap… I see it’s time to put this up again. It’s getting quite tiresome.
Maybe this will save a lot of time.
Bad Tanbark! Naughty, naughty Tanbark!
Why are you such a weasel!?!?
Baad, baad, baaad Tanbark!
never mind.
Another Republican small government measure?
At $1000 an hour*, you too can have drones of your very own waiting, waiting, waiting… just as soon as the paperwork flap with the FAA gets worked out.
*Hellfire missiles extra.
Krugman could ride my grandmother in the inaugural parade, because if she had wheels, she’d be a trolly-bus.
That’s awesome, but it’d take several hundred of those 4.4 lb babies to get my Hellfire off the ground…
Hey Tanbark, you fucking thread hijacking troll, we’re talking p0rn here.
The butthurt whiners meet down the hall on the very left in the green room…
What’s he have against American industry. USA! USA!
http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/internet-pornography-statistics.html
Wasn’t your fourth word just a little off key in this context?
Alex Wong is never white.
Oh, jeeze. That makes me crazy, too. It’s especially awful when he wears jeans. Every single time I’ve seen him trying to fit in with “the folks” at some midwest fair or something, he stands out like a neon sign because he walks so funny. I thought at first he was just not used to them, but would learn. It’s no better today than the first time. He just walks weird.
Every time the local news showed him in a “down home” photo op, I’d bring it up. Till my husband said, “He wears jeans like a woman. That’s why he doesn’t walk like a man does in them.” And I realized he’s right. Romney wears mom jeans.
They don’t need to get rid of porn — just preface every sexy video with a picture of Mitt Romney walking in his mom jeans. Nobody will tune in a second time.
Iran quakes in fear of Preznit Mommy Jeans!
I’ve always thought this was one “upside” the cons like about keeping people in their place, economically speaking. More individuals and more attractive ones go into some type of sex trade, than otherwise would, just to make ends meet. No pun intended.
heh… ain’t that the truth? Of course, Bishop Prude is just pandering to his batshit “base” and likely could give a flying feck how many flying fecks happen on film or otherwise.
If it was up to MittBot 2012, he’d figure out some way to leverage the sex/pr0n industry to his big fat (no pun intended) advantage, just like he’s done with every other bidness he got his greedy hooks into during the Bain of our existences… so to speak.
Let us at least be honest enough with ourselves to admit that there can’t possibly be any hope for a country this stupid. None whatsoever.
Nor should there be.
I admit I don’t click on it every time, but the Malkin/cheerleader vid never grows old.
Peter
It sure is! The hardcore wingers, especially ones like the Hillbuzz nutter, are passing around rumors that Stevens had been raped both before and after his death, which would be interesting because his rapists would have themselves been risking dying the same way Stephens did, via cardiac arrest due to smoke inhalation) and videos alleged to show Stevens’ body after he died. Hillbuzz takes the rape-and-torture porn a bit further and inflames his readers’ built-in homophobia by claiming that He! Has! PROOOOF! that Stephens was gay.
The wingers are split between Ohmigodthesickomuslimsrapedawhitemaneeeek and Ehsotheykilledahomosexualsowhat, and you can see Hillbuzz trying to straddle (with a wide stance like Larry Craig’s) both sides of that divide:
I’m telling ya, the women’s vote is done, toast, ta-ta. The Repubs policies are absolutely anti-woman, but that Goddamned walk is what is going to bury him. And I keep thinking that’s what the neocons and the pundits hate, too. They loved that Bush ‘swagger’. I think they watch Mittens and roll their eyes and think, “What the fuck?”
Of course, they hate the Obama glide because it looks so cool (but mainly it looks ‘urban’) and you can never say it’s unattractive to women, ’cause it ain’t. But Mittens? Do we really want the rest of the world laughing before he ever opens his mouth? Maybe he thinks Russia is the enemy because Putin said something about his walk and implied something unkind. Ahem. I can certainly see Putin doing that. Hey Mittens! Take off your shirt and fly fish and seal the deal for Obama and then we can all go home and plan The Turtle’s political demise. Women everywhere will thank you.
And ‘handsome’ Paul Ryan has NO LIPS!! There, I’ve said that, too. Can’t stand a man with no lips. I don’t care if he does a gazillion pushups a day. No lips, no likey.
it was stupid to send him to Libya as the ambassador when he was a known homosexual
You just know if actually confronted with Stevens’ actions during the revolution Hillbuzz would come to the exact same conclusion…
…but in Chicago’s diplomatic circles at least there is no doubt that Chris Stevens was gay and that pretty much anyone in the diplomatic world knew that. That includes the Libyans who were hired as security at the consulate in Benghazi who betrayed Ambassador Stevens and assisted in his murder.
Ya got a little drool on your lip.
Exactly. He was killed because he was gay. On the other hand, he was legendarily beloved by the Lybians because he was incredibly brave and loyal to the Lybians he loved. Therefore, he had to be killed and raped because…Good God almighty, great ‘balls’ by wingers. These ‘patriots’ blame this wonderful man for being wonderful. I detest them more at this moment, I think, than I have ever detested and loathed them, and that’s saying something.
Well, since he won’t pay minimum wage to the “crowds”, he couldn’t get anyone to come to the “rallies.”
Hell, if Mittster loses, I’ll bet they restore it by the end of election week. “Bidness,” indeed.
Please, Mr Bogg. A bazillion pennies for your thoughts?
http://thinkprogress.org/election/2012/09/14/851401/values-voters-women/
The Invisible Fapping Hand?
No kidding. And for a lot of them, who think a lot more about gay sex than most openly gay men I’ve encountered, one can’t help but wonder if they might have closets of self-hatred, lined with Terry Dolan pictures. If not Ernst Roehm pictures.
By the way: If any of you are facing voter ID laws about to be shoved down your throats by your state legislatures, pass this around:
http://firedoglake.com/2012/09/15/come-saturday-morning-minnesota-republicans-panicking-as-more-county-clerks-compare-notes-on-horrific-costs-and-hassles-of-photo-id-amendment/
Former USAG John Ashcroft just sprung some serious wood, and he’s ready to let the eagle soar…
What would possess you to go find that? But it fits.
Speaking of wong, er, wang:
http://www.yourfunnystuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/A-Rod-Goes-Deep-Wang-Hurt.jpg
I’m not gonna click, but just what is “deep wang hurt”?
Go ahead and click. You know you wanna.
Wonder if it’s because he needs a bigger set of Magic Underwear, or if, some days, he gets his wife’s by mistake.
Sad news.
Apparently there will be no ReturnOfTheLivingTebow: ThePolamalu-ing today….
OK OK I know when Im bein trolled.
But I didnt take the bate. For TWO looong days.
But noooooo you still have pornSarah winkin an teasin at me
I have two words for you. Polygamy Bitches
cant. stop. wankin about tommorrow
Polygamy Bitches might be a decent band name. I’m partial to Miniskirt Church Attire.
“Several Libyans have told me how much it means to them that he stayed here throughout the revolution, losing friends and suffering privations alongside ordinary Libyans,” Draper wrote on her blog. “We could not ask for a better ambassador to represent America during this crucial period in Libyan history.”
Republican response:
“He was a queer.
Replace him with some 23-year old College Republican who worked on Willard’s campaign. Preferably one with the abusive asshole personality of a John Bolton to let those darkies know who’s in charge.”
They had a most excellent adventure in Iraq, what could possibly go wrong?
Once all of the pornography is gone from the internet, angry white dudes will only be left with ambassador rape slash fiction, Ross Douthat’s Tales Of Almost Conquest, and Michelle Malkin cheerleader videos.
And… 50 Sheds of Grey:
‘So,’ I asked, ‘Do you prefer to be on top or underneath?’ ‘I’m not sure,’ she said, ‘I didn’t expect you to have a bunk bed in your shed.’
‘Don’t hold back,’ she cried, as I tied her to the chair, ‘I want to feel real pain.’ ‘Alright,’ I said, putting on my Best of Top Gear DVD.
Make me feel pain like I’ve never felt,’ she pleaded, blindfolded & naked. ‘Alright,’ I said, scattering legos on the floor…
Did someone sweep the glitter off the floor here yet?
Yes, like little snowflake babies, the precious glitter is snuggled away all warm and safe…
It’s so adorable to watch how the commenters here can’t even pretend to hate the Republicans more than they hate Progressives on a post about how manifestly awful RMoney is.
I have a better idea. Let’s send dick Liz Cheney. She seems to know exactly how to handle all this. Hillary’s revenge.
I’m in Iowa. Is that not enough?
Speak for yourself, dear. ;-) Besides, commenters aren’t the only persons who read FDL. My latest Come Saturday Morning post (on an effective way to fight efforts to pass ALEC-inspired “voter ID” vote suppression laws — namely, by bringing up how much those laws will cost local and state governments to implement) has only six comments, but last I heard yesterday it had over 16,000 clicks, 63 retweets, and was cited by Rick Hasen over at his Election Law blog.
Ah, yes, Paul Bremer’s CPA. Exhibit A on the “Why Do They Hate Us?” list, Iraqi Invasion Edition. (Though possibly Ahmad Chalabi might beat that out.)
No, no, no, you’re both doing it wrong. You’re actually writing something better than the original, wherein in the real books the dialogue for every character is nearly interchangeable and has a lot more “Fuck!”s in it.
Even better — the guy pushing the smear most assiduously, “Hillbuzz”, is himself a gay guy, in addition to being a racist nitwit who went unhinged when Hillary lost the primaries and has gone so PUMA he’s now considered a prime useful idiot by people like Michelle Malkin. Seriously.
There are gay people in government? Why did no one mention this to me before?
Please. Make. It. Stop.
Maybe if “progressive” commenters exhibited just the teeniest tiniest sense of humor they wouldn’t get poked so much.
Hence the tag: just fucking with you now
Not in Iowa, so all’s cool…
Just dropped in to say that, if I didn’t already have an established commenting pseud, I’d snap up “Furry Butt-Slut.”