I was just about to send you a heads up on the link to Little Timmy’s epic servant’s heart quote, but, Oh, sweet Jebus, that’s a beautiful, uh, paraphrasing of his deepfelt desires you’ve got there.

Good luck with the search for Miss Right, Timmy — it’ll be a bit like your running backs trying to find your passes on the field.

One simply does not walk into Oakland. One simply ignores their pitiful excuse for a JV high school team.

Before the Republican convention, rumors were swirling Tebow was going to be the surprise guest speaker — a spot ultimately taken by Clint Eastwood.

So they got Clint Eastwood’s wobbly spin instead of Tebow’s.

(Can you give me a Jon Stewart “Bam!” right here, TBogg effects department, please? Thank you.)

It’s tempting to think that they would have been better off had they gone with Tim, but I think it’s pretty clear at this point that even God wants Mitt Romney to lose, and would have taken over Tebow’s spirit to make him spend the whole time arguing with an empty spot on the field where a receiver should be.

uvp: BAM!

tbogg: i simply have never understood the logic behind blacking out a home team’s games if there is not enough enthusiasm for that team to fill the stadium. uh, how in god’s tebow’s name do you expect to generate that enthusiasm if nobody local can see the team on teevee? but oh wait, this is the nfl we’re talking about. these guys are the kings of stupidity when it comes to cupidity. see: refs.

I’ve been building the same amount of enthusiasm for the Padres all season, living in the Time Warner cable zone. Also too the NHL owners are working on building hockey fever the same way.

It’s about finding a girl who likes me for me,

Translation: I’ll be tweeting lots of photos of my penis soon.

Through the first two weeks of the season the NFL’s most expensive novelty player has exactly as many passing attempts and completions as my mom

Though I have only the faintest idea as to how this game actually works, I’m going to go ahead and take a SWAG: Tebow ain’t worth all them big-time checks he’s getting, right? Who says I don’t understand football?

As for the span of time that is commonly characterized as “football season,” when I flip by (and flip by, and flip by…) all those eleventy-gillion games on the electric TeeVee box, I invariably mutter to myself, “Wasn’t this same shit on yesterday? Why they gotta play reruns all the god damn time? Instead of doing reruns, why don’t they get creative and show Tebow’s draft picks for a new wife? I, for one, wish to learn more about their servant’s hearts big tits.

Jesus. I thought that you made up the servant’s heart bit. What a dickhead the Tebow is.

What a dickhead the Tebow is.

He’s probably not a complete dickhead, given his circumcision fetish and all…

Lessee, I’m a Falcons fan, so…

The Professional Sports Corporate Entity that you have chosen to invest with your affections and loyalty is doomed to have an unsatisfying outcome in today’s contest.

Or words to that effect.

“It’s about finding someone sweet and kind—and that has a servant’s heart.”

The courteous way to phrase “Iron my shirt, Hillary”

Don’t make Andrew Sullivan cry.

And let’s don’t even talk about the goddam Dodgers.

Oh well, wait’ll next year!

I think the “servant’s heart” thingie is just a reference to being a fundy Christian like he is. I remember that Palin used that reference to describe herself when she was addressing a fundy group and there was some discussion about it at the time. Sort of a fundy dog whistle on her part so to speak.

Not that I’m saying Tebow’s not a dick but I don’t think he meant he wanted a wife that would be his servant, just one for Jeebus.

Sanchez throws an INT!

Bring in TEBOW!

Wait. I have an NFL team?

Oh, crap. I’m afraid to look. I haven’t been feeding them or anything.

Wait. I have an NFL team?

All real ‘mericans have an NFL team and a newish stadium they helped pay for and a media blackout for today’s game.

Suck on that, commies!

Who knows? I mean-it could be politics one day,” Tebow said. “I want to have a life that can help people”.

Tim, count yourself blessed if you manage to end up with a Hyundai dealership.

“Who knows? I mean-it could be politics one day,” Tebow said. “I want to have a life that can help people”.

But…wouldn’t he, most likely, be republican? By definition a republican politician helps themselves and meddles in folks lives. Oh well…

It’s OK rick, upon further review, Juicebox didn’t say “…help you people” so he has no intention of helping, well, you people…

It’s too bad Carrie Prejean already married a mediocre NFL quarterback. She and Tebow would have been a match made in heaven.

Unfortunately, there is a very large dickhead constituency in American politics. Tebow is right in their wheelhouse.

Hahahahaha. Tebow reports at QB. Sacked for 5 yard loss.

He was speed-dating Miami’s D-line, batting his eyes, looking for that servant’s heart…

Next yr.: Carl Crawford, baby!!

What, throwing INTs isn’t enough to bench Sanchez and bring in The Savior?

Come on Mark, toss a pick-6!

Tebow reliably delivers his seed to his favorite target.

Sanchez = Satan

Perhaps Romney can teach him how to speak elegantly.

What were the J-nuts thinking with Tebow? The guy is Bobby Douglass without the ability to pass or think when on his feet. Sanchez is bad enough without hanging TT around his neck every Monday after the J-nuts lose. And Ryan as the head coach of these two? He was such a great college quarterback it makes perfect sense in NYC sports bars. Incidentally, most of those guys don’t know which side of the cup their junk goes in. Manhattanites don’t actually play sports other than insider trading on the stock market, perhaps. On the other hand, look at America’s team, the Green Bay Packers. Poetry in motion, for sure.

they need to give the guy a chance; the guy may not be pretty (as a QB; he’s certainly a pretty young man) but he know’s how to win; ya don’t win The Heisman as a sophomore ’cause you suck, ya know

BTW, Mark Bavaro “teabowed” before Timmy was born– and he was cool

Exactly, you want to bring Timmy along slowly, after all he is a rookie again this season, new team and all….

Bwah hahahahaha, who am I kidding? Tebow sucks and will never be a starting NFL-caliber QB….

no way “slowly,” man—- guy needs action if he’s going to reach his full potential; gotta play him against shit teams like MIA so he can get the feel of things

Whoopsie, MIA tied this bad boy up! OT?

Bit O/T, but Matthew Boyle (hero of last thread) would go fuckin’ nuts on your comment!

but seriously– you probably knew the above was snark— Sanchez sucks, why pay Tebow to sit on the bench, play him—– not in a close game,of course— but some other time

I think you’re better off paying Tebow to sit on the bench and look pretty.

bah; you guys won’t know what to say to me after Tebow wins this game

Book Salon up with Jonathan Moreno’s Mind Wars: Brain Science and the Military in the 21st Century hosted by Jeff Kaye

gad, some of my GodSquad relatives love them some Tebow. Oh well, give him credit at least for not writing hateful slurs in his eyeblack, so far.

Unless you’re in LA, where you have an NFL team, but it’s somewhere else.

i don’t like Tebow but i feel sorry for the guy– like some sad-eyed puppy after he shits on the floor and you get all pissed

I like watching him play, for the sheer comedy, but not this year since the replacement refs are making the games weird enough on their own….

Wait, the Rams left?

TBogg’s coverage of St. Tim is almost enough to make me try to learn something about feetsball. Almost…

He probably means to serve both him and Jesus.

Meanwhile, speaking of godbothering dickheads, meet Allen Quist.

Treading quietly along the well-worn path used by The Buccaneers and The Wildcats and The Bulldogs and The Dons and….

Quist might want to go ietquay on the eathday anelsspay.

He is lumbering towards the “putting down” stage of life….

When I worked with guys who followed teh game I would pay some attention to what was happening. I got to follow it enough now to know why Tehbow is so pathetic. Fortunately I don’t have to follow it too much for that….

Long time lurker, first time poster here.
I know very little about the football, but I do know that the Saints lost to the Chiefs today. Isn’t that Brees fella some sort of religious icon too? What’s up with the guys on the Big Dude’s speed dial? Looks like s/he found some other game to micro-manage this season.

Why do you think Al Davis tried moving the Raiduhs in here?

Anschutz was promising a new downtown (as in pull down part of the convention center and promise there would be any traffic problems) stadium, but since he also announced this week that he wants to sell off his sports interests, it doesn’t look likely. (I always thought that Irwindale would have been good for a stadium; it had a hole big enough to bury Davis’s ego: wide but shallow.)

Keep on enduring, Dude, and welcome! My guess is that God/Allah/FSM has his/her/its work cut out chipping away at Mittens’ campaign. Prolly after election day s/he will be able to pay more attention to feetsball.

You will note that he had ten kids/fetuses by his first wife Diane, and only one by his second wife Julie, who he married about six or so months after his first wife died in a car accident in December of 1986. (Diane was six and a half months pregnant at the time, so Quist had her womb cut open and the fetus washed off, dressed up and placed in her arms, and that’s how they were displayed in the open casket at her funeral.)

NO FUCKING WAY! Uh, I mean, a vote for Quist is a vote for….

Jebuz, that is some of the weirdest shit ever….

Can America afford two Christine O’Donnells, one in a football uniform?

Dumber than a stump…

He literally out-Santorums Santorum.

But really, it’s not just that which creeps me out about him — it’s that he seems to have grieved for all of about, oh, two weeks before setting out to find a new wife, assuming he didn’t already have his eye on Julie while Diane was still alive.

Re: That servant’s heart thing….

Is it possible that Mr. Tebow is looking for an Offred to call his own?

.

Haven’t read all the comments yet, so someone probably said this better already (that’s how it usually goes for me around here, anyway).

Not that I’m saying Tebow’s not a dick but I don’t think he meant he wanted a wife that would be his servant, just one for Jeebus.

Yes, it is a reference to serving the Lawd, but that same mindset also believes in the part where it calls on wives to serve their husbands as they serve Gawd so I’m pretty sure he’s expecting her to be a bit of both, and be the happy homemaker cooking and cleaning and popping out babies on a regular schedule to raise while he gets his seat ready on the Wingnut Welfare Gravy Train.

Yeah–I think we all get that it’s a coded fundy reference to how super humble and extra-special all true Christian ‘servants of Christ’ are compared to the rest of us self-involved heathens, rather than Tebow’s personal ad for an efficient housekeeper (with huge tits). How does that interpretation make him any less of a dick?

“…finding someone sweet and kind—and that (sic) has a servant’s heart.”

Can you imagine playing on the same team with this yabbo for four years?

Back in the day, when Americans lived in cities and athletic stadii were downtown (they were more often than not the same place where one would go watch a game of balls and bases), feetsball of the professional kind depended on gate attendance for the owner and (sometimes) the players and coaches to make a living. TV and its associated moolah were only a relatively small part of Sunday’s income for the teams’ owners. Plus, the visiting team received 40% of that’s day’s ticket sales as compensation for their traveling to some urban hellhole and playing on the Sabbath.

In fact, all home games used to be blacked out on TV within a 75 mile radii of said city, regardless of whether the game sold out or not. So if you wanted to watch feetsball of the professional persuasion, you had to buy a ticket, travel either on public (ugh!) transportation, or walk/drive/hitchhike/perform sex acts on strangers with cars to attend said athletic performance.

It wasn’t until the late 1960s and the emergence of both TV and the AFL that it finally dawned on the owners that fans in major TV markets such as New York City, Philadelphia or Washington D.C. really didn’t want to go and watch their local lousy team in shitty weather when they could watch Joe Namath (or any of the other great quarterbacks/teams who were playing in the AFL at the time) in the comfort of their own wood-paneled dens on the TV for “free”. Also too, the beer was cheaper, nobody complained about your swearing, and the drunken fistfights were small and minimal.

It’s only been in the past few decades that the NFL deigned to allow teams to lift a TV blackout if tickets sold out 72 hours before game time. But in that time, revenue from TV broadcasts have far outstripped gate receipts. So the San Diego Chargers’ brazillionaire owner can threaten to move the team if the city doesn’t pay for a new stadium for him, since all of his own money is tied up in GOP political campaigns.

And hey, so what if the city has to lay off cops and teachers? You wanna see feetsball? You gotta pay! Besides, ESPN thinks Qualcomm Stadium is icky!

” has a servant’s heart.”

What is she doing with it? Storing it? Using it as a paperweight? Wasn’t the servant interested in keeping it?

The Max Headroom show, in one of its many, many, quick tossoffs in news reporting seen in the background of the main action, once made reference to an “Irwindale Raiders”.

The profoundly perceptive and analytically rigorous Betty Cracker doesn’t have a complete answer to your query, but – from back in the days when the Snowbilly Grifter ruled our media world – she does address the manner of acquisition of said servant’s heart (full post here). And Betty includes this useful precaution:

Hotel maids are definitely advised to travel in pairs….

So the San Diego Chargers’ brazillionaire owner can threaten to move the team if the city doesn’t pay for a new stadium for him, since all of his own money is tied up in GOP political campaigns.

Yet more usually wingnut welfare gravy train hokum.

Bringing up the Chargers is particularly relevant for TBogg’s blog, but it happens all over the place.

I’m not a sports fan. Usually I forbear to comment much on sports-related blog posts bc, really, I don’t give a crap (but have at it, everyone). But this whole thing with stadiums being funded by the 99%, whilst the 1%, per usual, manage to make out like the flaming asshole bandits that they are… really makes me mad.

Why am *I* supposed to fund a bunch of gazillionaires in their high-falutin hoity-toity stadiums at the expense of other much more valuable and needed services, such as PD, fire fighters (particularly relevant to San Diego, I might add), teachers, libraries, etc???

There’s also the utterly craptastic bogus lie that by taxpayers funding the uber-wealthy sports stadium somehow as if by magic the 99% will “benefit” in some way… as yet unspecified, but don’t call us, we’ll call you when we figure it out. Cue to the Woody Woodpecker laugh suckahs!!

From what little I know, it’s insanely expensive to attend these games. So the downtrodden in the 99% get to fund the building of stadiums for the wealthy, whilst not having a hope of being able to afford to attend one game per season or per decade.

I’m not a sports fan. Usually I forbear to comment much on sports-related blog posts bc, really, I don’t give a crap

Some of the best fun is on sports blogs. Some peeps take their sports really, really really serious (SEC football fans!) and there can be unlimited fun fucking with them even though you don’t give a shit about their particular team/player/viewpoint.

Aaron Rodgers just got sacked for the eighth time. Three more and he equals Archie Manning’s record with the Vikings; five more and he has the all-time NFL record.

If he lands the record I think GB will need a new QB, a QB who will prance half-naked on the frozen tundra.

Paging JuiceBox!

Ooooh! Then we get to see the Lions — with Ndamukong Suh, the Zamboni on Speed — face off at least twice a season against the Holy Juicer!

And the twitter machine melts down with final fanfuckintastic MNF touchdown(?)!!!

Not ready for football yet (even in a year when there are actual refs), much less for Tebow. Baseball still. Baseball. Baseball. Baseball.

I’m reading Harbach’s The Art of Fielding. Highly recommend.