Last week, the the euphoria of the Jet’s opening game blow-out over Buffalo plummeted to the ground with the wobbly explosiveness of a Tim Tebow outlet pass on third and long. Through the first two weeks of the season the NFL’s most expensive novelty player has exactly as many passing attempts and completions as my mom, although Timmy did have one carry for 22 yards against the Steelers which is one more yard than Chris Johnson has in 19 attempts over two games. Kudos, back-up fullback and special teams pawn.
In additional Tebow news, Timmy expressed an interest in politics following what is sure to be a stellar football career which means that, if he is not the Second Coming of Jesus, he can at least be the Second Coming of Heath Shuler. Oh, also too, Timmy talks about what he’s looking for in one Special Lady when the day comes when he finally gets tired of taking showers with big sweaty guys:
Tebow again raised the possibility of a career in politics when he is through with football.
“There are a lot of goals and ambitions that I have in life, things I want to accomplish. Who knows? I mean-it could be politics one day,” Tebow said. “I want to have a life that can help people”.
He also discussed what he’s looking for in a future Mrs. Tebow.
“I definitely, definitely want a family,” Tebow said. “It’s about finding someone sweet and kind—and that has a servant’s heart. It’s about finding a girl who likes me for me, and not because of what I do or who I am or the name. Oh, also, she’s gotta have really big tits because I’m totally down for some motor-boating action, if you know what I mean…”
Yeah, I may have embellished that quote a little. I blame
This week the Jets play Miami which is quarterbacked by that rookie guy with the smoking hot wife. The Chargers are blacked out locally because The Price of Tickets Is Too Damn High and there are also lots of other things to do in San Diego on a sunny Sunday afternoon besides sitting in a stadium with a bunch of screaming sweaty drunks.
Feel free to use the comments talk shit about whomever is playing your NFL team this week. Particularly if they are the Raiders….
UPDATE: Courtesy of Deadspin, your moment of Tebow Zen