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Smug future-dowager queen Ann Romney is very sick and tired of You People not loving that man of hers like she loves that man of hers, so she and her gang of lying-ass sons, led by eldest crazy-eyed blank-shooter Tarkus, held down Romney campaign chief strategist (I know… I was surprised they had a “strategy” too) Stuart Stevens and cut off his hair influence:
What followed was a family intervention. The candidate’s family prevailed on Mitt Romney, and the campaign operation, to shake things up dramatically, according to campaign insiders. The family pushed for a new message, putting an emphasis on a softer and more moderate image for the GOP nominee — a “let Mitt be Mitt” approach they believed more accurately reflected the looser, generous and more approachable man they knew.
Chief strategist Stuart Stevens — whom the family held responsible for allowing Romney’s personal side to be obscured by an anti-Obama economic message — has seen his once wide-ranging portfolio “fenced in” to mainly the debates, and the television advertising that is his primary expertise, according to campaign officials. Tagg Romney, channeling his mother’s wishes, is taking a much more active role in how the campaign is run.
The family rebellion, long building despite Mitt Romney’s initial reluctance to change, reached a climax in September, amid mounting evidence that the status quo was doomed to failure.
This had to be done because Mitt Romney, who has been sold to us as a decisive and brilliant businessman who SAVED THE OLYMPICS and made BILLIONS of dollars which he then stashed in off-shore tax havens, is actually just one of those goofy hapless bumbling dads (Homer) from the sitcoms who must be continually reined in by his adoring yet amusingly exasperated wife (Marge). Except, in this case, the role of the sensible mom with a heart of gold is played by Angela Lansbury from the Manchurian Candidate (without the oily style but with 70% more bitchface) and Mitt is dopey drunken empty-headed James Gregory.
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fuckin Sully…
he always lures me back with his long stretches of reasonableness and interesting-link-gathering. then he pulls one of these manic panic freakouts about something and i remember exactly why i stopped reading him the last time.
Do you cackle out loud when you write this stuff?
And no one does bitchface like the deliciously deranged Angela Landsbury in Candidate.
“Gang Ann Style”
Title of the Year.
You have no idea of the Angela Landsbury that is Ann Romney, or her family. I grew up surrounded with folks like them. If you thought Barbara Bush and her “beautiful mind”, or Nancy Reagan and her just “say no” was freightful…
And Mrs. Rmoney never even had a real job.
At least old Barbara Bush had an actual job as the model for Quaker Oats.
Personally, I’m waiting for the 5-volume “Mommy, Dearest” anthology and subsequent series of blockbuster movies. (memorable line: “No more hotshot cattle-prods – ever!”). I haven’t sat down and cast it out yet, not having enough beer to make the effort tolerable, but I’m sure Kristen Stewart will be in there somewhere.
Who knew moonie-eyed (or is that money-eyed?) blonde sorority girl Ann Romney would eventually out-Marie-Antoinette-Machiavelli Nancy Le Bitch Reagan? And to think she created her own five storm troopers as well! Busy lady.
Mmmmm, unanticipated hysteria.
There’s one distinct advantage to having thought Andrew Sullivan was one of the most pompous little stuffed roastables you’ve ever laid eyes on right from the beginning, and that’s never having to swear off reading him because you never did.
We were just going to love Ann Romney when they set her upon the talk-show circuit.
Now, just wait ’til we all get a load of the hunky, sexy and successful Romney boys.
(Yes, if by “successful” I mean being born to a rich daddy, living a pampered rich-boy youth, inheriting a trust fund bundle, and being a smug, entitled fuck about it all. They’re kinda like Donald Trump, except with better hair.)
And so to Sully readers, this is more in sorrow than in schadenfreude…
Well, Andrew Sullivan is NEVER wrong about *anything.* Time to get the passports updated.
There are no more ardent and eloquent defenders of oligarchy than those that stand to inherit the loot.
Nice. One of your best, Mr. Bogg.
Sully is shrill, no doubt. But I am worried. O got spanked pretty bad.
Yeah, like Sully said and the rest of the hand-wringing brigade claims, it’s over. Obama lost, even the people he already lost because he didn’t do the things they thought he should do when he got into office and he never does what I say and I’m breaking up with him! are lost as well.
Using Sully as a soundboard for anything other than what life is like for a gay man who remains loyal to both the cahtolic-fucking-church and the republican party is like asking Romney what is was like to be poor. Sullivan has always been a fucking fraud and that’s not going to change.
I’ve seen him too many times on Bill Maher. He always seems like a freaking snob, smartest guy in the room.
BTW, did I miss something or have we heard the end of Ann’s little story on “…back when Mitt and I started out, eating can cat food on my ironing board because we couldn’t afford any furniture…”?
I think she got it out of a Dickens’ novel but somebody modernized the details.
Maybe nobody wants to hear that again, gagging and losing lunch like that, but I wish someone would call her out on it.
back when Mitt and I started out, eating can cat food on my ironing board because we couldn’t afford any furniture…
…until, suddenly, Mittens strode over to the rickety little desk, flung open the drawer and found….
THE MERRIL LYNCH FENNER AND BEAN STATEMENT! After that, we figured out how to make ends meet.
Li’l Friskies again?!! Guess I’ll have to cash in a few shares…
Mabye Ice Queen Annie can hire out Psy to teach her storm trooper sons how to do the Refalca-horsie-dance. Frankly when Psy does that hoity-toity horse-ridey dance manuever, it’s hilarious. No doubt, Willard can figure out some way to deduct Psy’s fee from the RMoney’s already seriously high (cry me a river) tax
scamburden.I could use a good laugh just about now…
Romneyville = Potterville
OK, I think I made up the cat food or seized upon an urban cliche. But I do remember canned something, maybe beans. It was that friggin’ ironing board “because we couldn’t afford furniture” that caused me to lose my lunch. How demeaning can a person get than to make up shit like that?
Speaking of Republican women, this *is* from the Daily Fail, but as a person from Iowa, I have to say that appears to be meth-related weight loss. Alleged meth-related weight loss.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2215207/Im-writing-fitness-book-Sarah-Palin-hits-row-grows-shocking-new-skinny-figure.html
I am only visiting Ioway, but I concur with ur assessment.
We’re never going to love your rich lying ass Romney.
Don’tDo take it personally.Hasn’t the U.S. been at war for over a decade?
Surly one of the “boys” could pull a tour or two.
Republicans apparently really really like being lied to.
“The potato salad is fine. Go ahead and have some.”
“Oh definitely! Seat belts are for losers.”
“It’s not that high. Go ahead and jump down.”
“Go ahead, drink up! I promise to drive you home later. Give me your keys.”
It appears the Mini-Mittbots are, in reality, mAnn-droids!
So I’m not the only one who’s wondered about this… My vote is a resounding YES!
That’s good, but not quite as good as what she was called by a sweet, elderly Anglo-Catholic priest I knew. He called her “the winsome shark.” (At one point Nancy and Ronnie showed up at an Episcopal parish I used to be a member of. Nancy held her hands out for the host, and when the chalice was presented she dropped the host into it… SUCH a special lady.)
EEEWWWW… No fair. You made me click, and now I need brain bleach. Lots and lots and lots of gallons of brain bleach. (She’s fit, she’s rested, she’s ready…)
The incomparable Charles Pierce at Esquire decided that TBogg had created the funniest thing ever to appear on the intertoobz, and linked to it on his first bloggiversary. He’s probably right…
Gosh, it’s really fun to run nekkid through a blog all by yourself!
Ahhhh. Mmmnnnn, that’s good snark! (Read in Johnny Carson voice over) ‘Bout time we had something better than warmed over Tehbow goulash or hippie baiting titty twisters.
I’d like to accept his generosity. A cool #3M gets my vote and then, when Mitt is our new overlord, you people
can suck itwill learn dressage and like it….Let’s see: Michelle Obama and the Obama girls vs Ann Romney and the starry-eyed Romney boys. Gee, let me think. Okay, I’m gonna go with the humans.
She claimed they ate “lots of tuna and pasta” (or as everybody called it in the 60′s/70′s “tuna noodle casserole”) on their “fold down ironing board/dining room table”. I wouldn’t call it Dickensian, but it seemed very like something they would’ve done in a 1930′s movie or a “Blondie” comic strip.
It made zero sense, because as one lady (sorry, couldn’t find the link) and her family tried to do this and found it completely impossible. It would’ve been simpler to have simply eaten off the door/desk they had constructed, their laps on the couch or even picnic style on the floor.
In other news: Sullivan also ascribes to the philosophy spotted in “The Bell Curve”, so I’ve always been mystified as to how he even lowered himself to support a blah as prez. And Angela Landsbury’s character was nine billion times warmer and fuzzier than Marie Ann-Romnette could ever dream of.
Also, too, I believe Snowtard Snooki’s fitness regimine is more commonly called “meth addiction”
He and Chris Matthews are among the biggest drama queens imaginable. And I’ll never forget that he’s still defending the frickin’ Bell Curve. Seriously.
Dang, those mangoes sure looked tasty and the shore inviting from the deck of the boat, but when I got to the island it was a scary, scary place.
I don’t know that I want to go with meth, but I have to agree it doesn’t look like healthy weight loss. I guess by going rail-thin and dressing like a 20-something she’s hoping to extend her shelf life? Or maybe keep Todd from straying?
Andrew Sullivan was the big guest for a Harvard journalism event a year or so ago. He gave a big speech on one night, was feted at a dinner afterwards, and was supposed to be part of a panel discussion the next morning with other, lesser, luminaries. He overslept and barely made it for the last half hour or so of the panel.
Arrogant, self-important, inconsiderate ass.
This year, David Brooks is the honored guest for that event. Don’t let anybody ever tell you that Harvard is liberal.
TBogg, I thought I’d pass along this in case it isn’t making the rounds in America.
“Mark Steyn: The Sesamization of America”
in which Steyn calls Mitt’s promise to sack Big Bird “an alpha-male moment” and “Unlike Mitt, I loathe Sesame Street. It bears primary responsibility for what the Canadian blogger Binky calls the de-monsterization of childhood…”
You can’t make this shit up.
Wow. TBogg nails Romney via an intervention to the cross of Panderer-in-Chief, presumptive. Awe-inspiring.
Did you ever notice that Westgate Resorts always stink of urine?
You forgot:
“Tastes just like chicken!” and
“They wouldn’t be allowed to print it if it wasn’t true–it’s in the First Amendment!”*
* I swear to god I had a neighbor who used to read the “National Enquirer” because she believed this.
Seriously? Willard is an “alpha-male” because he beat up Big Bird?
“You can’t make this shit up.”
Well, you could, but even the folks who think Nessie, Bigfoot and George Soros destroyed the WTC under orders from the NSA wouldn’t believe it. When the GOP candidate for President repeatedly makes the Onion into an unwitting ‘straight-news’ source, we have officially gone through the looking-glass. All I hope is that after 12/21/12 the next universe manages to be somewhat more sane. I can’t decide whether the Republican God is played by Heath Ledger or Jack Nicholson, but either way, even Douglas Adams would draw the line at writing what we’re living. “Just too bizarre”, he might think; “I like to have my plots at least somewhat grounded in reality…”
Once while channel surfing, I jumped directly from Murder She Wrote to Manchurian Candidate. Unnerving.
A friend of mine lost tons of weight, like Tundra Trash apparently has, when she got into her late ’50s. Looked pretty anorexic to me, and apparently there has been a rise in “late life” anorexia amongst women of a certain age.
My friend (who in other ways is NOT like Palin) also began dressing in what Joan Rivers would say is “too young.” While my friend was thin enough to wear some of the outfits, imo she made herself look older by dressing too young (if that makes any sense).
In our youth-obsessed culture, many feel pressured to grasp at fading youth by any means.
I’ll go back to snark shortly, but my guess is Palin is just doing what a of other women in her age group do… try desparately to cling to youth by any means. Thin is always in, or so they say. Palin appears to be grasping at any means to stay relevant in order to milk the ca$h cow, whether on the rightwing Tea Party circuit or via dreaded LIEbrul Hollywood. Any port in a storm…
Oh, lord, yes, way too much sense.In fact, these last few years as I’ve been desperately looking for work at age 60-and-over…I’ve read way too many books and articles on “how not to look old.” Yes, really. The first time I saw one, I was astonished. Now, I grab ‘em up and read ‘em.
It’s miserable to look at a style magazine or walk through a women’s department. All the cute stuff that I once would’ve worn without a thought…nope, too young.
Absolutely not ready for the granny sweaters and elastic-waist pants. What’s in between? Well, there lies the problem, ’cause the answer is, “not much.”
There was a mag article recently about dressing at different mature ages: for 60′s, what stuck in my mind was “no ikat prints.” What? Why not? What’s wrong with an ikat print? Ilooove ikat prints! I thought they were kinda conservative, comparatively….
So, if I haven’t figured out the rules, the chances that Palin will understand the rules of how not to dress too-young are probably…er, slim. Maybe I finally feel for her, a little tiny bit.
I feel for you! That said, there are options for women of a certain age to look prof for job interviews without looking dowdy or over the hill. That said, could be expensive, so… ya gotta shop ’till ya drop & check out the consignment shops.
One place to check out for style sense is Vogue, which usually has one page spreads on fashions for various age groups. Naturally what they show on those pages are ridiculously expensive, but you can get a clue about trends and styles for your age group. Look at it in the grocery store line to save yourself the cost of the mag.
Just a thought & good luck with that.
I don’t know why Ikat prints are verbotin for those over 40, either. Maybe you could write to Joan Rivers and ask!!! ha ha
And now back to our regularly scheduled snark…
PS I don’t feel sorry for Caribou Barbie… not one tiny bit. no way.
Sullivan’s faux outrage was an attempt to become the bellwether of this election … as much a self-centered douchebag as the Republican nominees !
ha. You have described what I do. Sigh. I actually managed to become employed six months ago, and in a way, professional uniform – suit, dark — is easy, except for the hemline issue. It helps some that my hair has not turned gray (except for that teeny sliver that’s hidden if I leave the hair down), so my age is usually somewhat underestimated. It’s hard work,though!
I’ve reverted to my inner Katharine Hepburn. When I wear skirts they’re suits and thoroughly tailored. Like anybody in Iowa is gonna know they’re two or three years “out of date”. Otherwise, LLBean and Eddie Bauer are my only friends, and I mainline EBay. Resveratrol has helped with the grey hairz – a really good shade of red/orange lipstick (Arden) takes care of the rest, along with maintaining a nice tan. I’m gonna look like this til I die.
I was waiting, and I have not been disappointed. My love to the commenters whom I know and appreciate so well.
Hmmm. Never noticed before looking at this link that Ann’s 3rd and 4th sons don’t look very much like nos. 1, 2 and 5. Do Mormons have marriage time outs?
We have an admin assistant where I work who likes to wear tunics and leggings. She isn’t young enough (or thin enough) to look good in them.
Matthews also has long streches of reaonableness and then something turns him, well, squirrely.
Probably some take after Mitt’s family and some take after Queen Ann’s.
Queen Ann’s concession speech will be must see tv. “You people are too stupid to realize how wonderful this man is. You dont deserve mitt!” Indeed.