Even though our heart is not into it (there … I have just lowered expectations) I will be live twitter-twatting the VP debate tonight between Uncle Joe Biden, who is our favoritest uncle of all time because he tells fart jokes at the Thanksgiving table, and zombie-eyed granny-starver Paul Ryan who, we just discovered, is one of those douchebags who wears a ball cap backwards at the gym which automatically means every gym-related conversation with him will start with “So… how much do you bench?” because that is the real measure of a man. Expect Ryan to break Mitt Romney’s world record of 118 lies in an hour and a half by hitting that number in an hour ten and then lying about that later saying he went sub-one hour. Booyah! CRUSHED IT!
He’s a dick.
Also, today is National Coming Out Day so expect at least one surprise. Maybe two….