Unskewed numbers genius and human gravy manufacturing plant Dean Chambers wants you to know that Nate Silver is skewing those poll numbers because he is either queerer than a three dollar bill (so, you know, he probably not using straight heterosexual math where 1+1 = 2 but instead uses gay math like Adam + Steve = gaymarried) or Silver is a penis-less numbers eunuch. One of those. But first…

While many conservatives look to former Clinton political consultant Dick Morris to understand the polls and political surveys on the elections, or even a site like UnSkewedPolls.com, those on the left look to New York Times blogger Nate Silver. Silver had a background in analyzing and writing about baseball that Wikipedia describes as, “Silver first gained public recognition for developing PECOTA, a system for forecasting the performance and career development of Major League Baseball players, which he sold to and then managed for Baseball Prospectus from 2003 to 2009.”

We’ll just back the fuck up right here and point out that Dean claims that conservatives get their hot polling action from Dick Morris (YES!) and UnSkewedPolls.com, which happens to be his own site but he doesn’t mention that because he’s not into bragging on himself since he is very humble …. and for good reason, I might add.

Okay, now here is why you can’t trust Nate Silver:

Nate Silver is a man of very small stature, a thin and effeminate man with a soft-sounding voice that sounds almost exactly like the “Mr. New Castrati” voice used by Rush Limbaugh on his program. In fact, Silver could easily be the poster child for the New Castrati in both image and sound. Nate Silver, like most liberal and leftist celebrities and favorites, might be of average intelligence but is surely not the genius he’s made out to be. His political analyses are average at best and his projections, at least this year, are extremely biased in favor of the Democrats.

Apparently, Nate Silver has his own way of “skewing” the polls. He appears to look at the polls available and decide which ones to put more “weighting” on in compiling his own average, as opposed to the Real Clear Politics average, and then uses the average he calculates to determine that percentages a candidate has of winning that state. He labels some polling firms as favoring Republicans, even if they over sample Democrats in their surveys, apparently because he doesn’t agree with their results. In the end the polls are gerrymandering into averages that seem to suit his agenda to make the liberal Democrats candidates apparently strong than they are.

Fair enough. So, if we throw out Nate Silver’s polling algayrithms, how is the election really going to turn out?

Here is manly man Drew Chamber’s projection:

Mitt Romney has it in the bag and should take the next week off.

That would be ballsy…