I thought you said you were working …
ETA: Me too
If zombies survived by eating the brains of the American electorate they’d starve to death. Or be on a severely calorie-restricted diet, anyway.
That was great, thanks. I knew that the Rmoneys looked familiar…
This may be the only way to get the undecideds off their asses:
“Sure, I’m so uninformed that I can’t distinguish any differences between Obama and Romney, but even I know that Zombie Apocalypses really suck…”
OT, Bogg, but is there a particular reason you’re being such a dick about Sandy on Twitter?
I’m taunting my daughter for moving to NYC for grad school.
And here I am taunting Nanny Bloomberg. Don’t take it personally. Unless you’re a Dr. Pepper person.
If they only ate Republican brains, they would be starving and suffering severe food poisoning.
You know, they’ve been telling me to stock up on canned food this weekend. You don’t suppose….
“Look, don’t tell them it’s zombies. Just say, I don’t know, “storm” or something.”
Hope she stays safe. This won’t be apocalyptic, but shit happens.
If she loots herself a nice flatscreen it will all even out.
Yeah. We all care about her too, and are sending her VERY good vibes. (This from a nasty old woman who used to call her mother “you old bat” to her face, because she understood it was a term of endearment.)
There is no “.” in Dr Pepper.
I was puzzled when they had the CDC telling people to prepare for a zombie apocalypse and then stated there was no zombie disease following the random guy attempting to eat someone’s face.
I just figured that someone had watched too much Walking Dead.
1) Great video, Josh
2) I am just beyond envy over your very lovely, either perfectly restored or untouched by bad renovation bungalow kitchen. It’s super cute
yeah, but, corporatism!
I figure all the “Frankenstorm” stuff was for post-zombie-attack deniability. “Well look, we said “monster” storm, right?” Then Politifact will give them a “half-right”.
This would probably be funnier if a vast majority of Romney voters weren’t actually fervently praying for a dead guy to show up and lead them to Heaven.
They believe he’s really alive and well and will do whatever they want him to do. They haven’t read the Bible much: this is the guy who chased the moneychangers out of the Temple.
A good opportunity for one of my favorite quotes, from Hannah and her Sisters:
“If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he’d never stop throwing up.”
I also like the Gospel From Outer Space by Kilgore Trout.
…the moneychangers out of the Temple.
Proof that Jesus wants a Gold standard
Zombie Reagan/Jesus 2016
Leading Republicans through the Apocalypse into the Rapture
My husband has said that if Jesus were to come back today we’d probably have him doped up on thorazine and locked up in no time.
I’m always amused to remind the fairly well off that at one time Jesus’ family was homeless and that the first time round God did not choose a rich household when he chose to make his entrance into the world. It’s also particularly fun to remind that greed and gluttony are sins and ask them how many homes do they think Jesus would own.
Actually, there’s another interesting theory that he was pretty much a magician, in the Uri Geller sense, not the Merlin sense, though actually Merlin probably was the same if he existed.
I haven’t read that book yet but will, I heard about it in this book, which I did read, and loved.
Hey the Giants just swept the World Series. Yay for my home town.
zombies + dick morris = butt chuggtasticness
(psst… it’s at the end)
Do you know from where I have heard precisely this sentiment? Ann Coulter.
When I first read this I thought you meant Reagan.
One-man abstinence theory control group and underwear model Levi Johnston and his SO’s famalies (sic) sent out invitations to watch them as they join marriage (sic). Just in case you’d like to no (sic). I hear the gowns were sic (sick).
Tom, please stop with the hurricane jokes. I am furiously preparing for the worst, i.e., stringing some bed sheets together to form a sail and hanging it out my second floor window and smashing a bottle of champagne against my front door and rechristening my house the U.S.S Split-Level Colonial.
Next stop, Aruba!
Peoples Fresca Front
The car elevator makes an excellent platform for snipers to pick off the undead.
Oh my God there’s eleventy different fonts on that thing…
Plus, you know how many Republicans you have to kill to get a pound of brains?
Joss Whedon is wonderful, even when he’s mixed up politically.
All of them and even then you come up a bit short.
You may well laugh, but speaking as a printer, we once silkscreened a bunch of sponsorship banners for the LA Marathon, and the helpful stencil cutter added a period to the text (probably proudly thinking there fixed it for you), the dope, and nobody caught it until the run was done and the banners were being hung. All ad copy was always accompanied by a large written reminder that there is no period after “Dr”, so it really was our own damn fault.
A furious Pepper exec caught it and rang us up, saying either rerun or no pay, so we had to rerun the lot.
Johnston nuptials invitation: O. mi. gaud.
When I saw a diary title on Daily Kos saying “Joss Whedon Endorses Romney,” I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even open the diary, I was sooooo disappointed in Whedon. What a horrible let-down.
I told myself, jeeze, maybe it’s because he’s rich and he’s giving thought to his taxes….or something. But I couldn’t really figure it out. It made no sense, but I tried not to think about it. People are strange, things happen, they go nuts sometimes.
Imagine my relief right now.
I love the offhand style of jokes that you almost have to “catch up” with as he keeps talking. So Whedon-esque. Well worth running through twice.
I especially loved the “burnt-out vet taking dam-fool chances” line.
bumper sticker i’d like to see:
we’ll agree to be Left Behind
if you’ll agree to leave
Brilliant. And relieved.
He totally stole the idea for the Zomney ad from Davyda DeSimone-this was posted to her Facebook account on Oct 11.
Don’t you remember, the Apocalypse already came and went.
Apparently, God didn’t want them either.