How are you gonna keep them down on the farm once they have been hyp-mo-tized by The Great and Mysterious Obamaton?

Well you’re not and Tea Party Genius Chip “Chip” Rogers has got the video that proves that you may have left Possum Squat, West Virginia to become an urban layabout sheeple via the Magic of the Delphi technique and now someday you will get a phone call from someone at the UN inviting you to play a game of solitaire and, next thing you know, you’ll wake up and find out that you have had an abortion or, even worse, worked as a community organizer which is communist.

You didn’t know about this? Of course not, unless you’re a Republican state senator from Georgia:

President Obama is using a Cold War-era mind-control technique known as “Delphi” to coerce Americans into accepting his plan for a United Nations-run communist dictatorship in which suburbanites will be forcibly relocated to cities. That’s according to a four-hour briefing delivered to Republican state senators at the Georgia state Capitol last month.

[...]

The meeting consisted of a PowerPoint presentation followed by a 90-minute screening of the anti-Agenda 21 documentary, Agenda: Grinding America Down. It was emceed by Field Searcy, a local conservative activist who was forced out of the Georgia Tea Party in April due to his endorsement of conspiracy theories about the president’s birth certificate and the collapse of World Trade Center Tower 7. The presentation also featured a special video cameo from conservative talking-head Dick Morris in which the former Clinton aide warns that Obama “wants to force everyone into the cities from whence our ancestors fled.”

About 23 minutes into the briefing, Searcy explained how President Obama, aided by liberal organizations like the Center for American Progress and business groups like local chambers of commerce, are secretly using mind-control techniques to push their plan for forcible relocation on the gullible public.

This is all tied to UN Agenda 21. What’s that, you might ask. It’s this:

Agenda 21 is a nefarious plot that includes forcibly relocating non-urban-dwellers and prescribing mandatory contraception as a means of curbing population growth. The invitation to the Georgia state Senate event noted the presentation would explain: “How pleasant sounding names are fostering a Socialist plan to change the way we live, eat, learn, and communicate to ‘save the earth.’”

Which is why Planned Baby Killing So You Can Slut It Up Some More, You Dirty Whore, was shortened to Plan B and We’re Going To Death Panel Sarah Palin’s Elderly Parents became Obamacare.

It’s marketing. You wouldn’t understand.

Now why don’t you go play a nice game of solitaire because we need some fetal stem cells since we have a busy weekend planned…