
Thing that you find floating in a bus station toilet and unctuous twat Bill Kristol is looking for a few good men and women to enlist in his latest war; but this is not like all of Bill Kristol’s other wars where good men and women go off to fight for the greater good of Israel America while Bill sits in a chair on the set of Fox News and smiles his sickly smile while other people die. No, this is a war to stop the existential threat that is Chuck Hagel who is just like a Hitler, but a Hitler who doesn’t like war the way Bill Kristol likes war.
Which is to say: a lot.
This must not happen!
The question is whether there are a few good men or women—serious liberals willing to speak truth to power, honorable Democratic senators willing to put country before party—who will step forward to sink the Hagel nomination.
After all, Bill Kristol, Jennifer Rubin, the frat boys at the Free Beacon, Embittered President in Exile John McCain, and Huckleberry Closetcase can’t do all of the heavy lifting. Although Lindsey Graham has been known to inveigle a strapping young man to stop by his bachelor flat and bust up a chifforobe from time to time when the moon is high and the nights are balmy and Lindsey’s sap is rising, if y’all know what I mean…
It will be revealing about the state of liberalism and the condition of the Democratic party if there are none. It wasn’t pleasant in 2005 for conservatives and Republicans to oppose a nominee—in this case a close friend—of a president they supported. It certainly wasn’t pleasant to seem to give any comfort to the president’s critics. Still, to use a corny but apt expression, it was the right thing to do. And a willingness to do it was a sign of the health of American conservatism.
American liberalism shows no such sign of health. Liberals are pretending not to recognize that Hagel is manifestly unqualified. A few have the wit to argue in excuse that associate justice of the Supreme Court is a lifetime appointment while secretary of defense is not. On the other hand, the damage an incompetent secretary of defense could do over the next four years is very great. Even a liberal can see that.
Will Hagel pluck Sarah Palin from the hinterlands of North Methistan and try to put her a weird mole away from the presidency like Bill Kristol and John McCain tried. Did Chuck Hagel say any of the following:
- “Look, if we free the people of Iraq we will be respected in the Arab world. … France and Germany don’t have the courage to face up to the situation. That’s too bad. Most of Europe is with us. And I think we will be respected around the world for helping the people of Iraq to be liberated.”
- “I think we’ll be vindicated when we discover the weapons of mass destruction and when we liberate the people of Iraq.”
- “And on this issue of the Shia in Iraq, I think there’s been a certain amount of, frankly, Terry, a kind of pop sociology in America that, you know, somehow the Shia can’t get along with the Sunni and the Shia in Iraq just want to establish some kind of Islamic fundamentalist regime. There’s almost no evidence of that at all. Iraq’s always been very secular.”
Nope he didn’t. But he should have!
Kristol:
Our brave men and women in uniform deserve better than Chuck Hagel. Are there any courageous liberal voices who will find it within themselves to say so? Are there a few courageous Democrats in the United States Senate who will announce that they will not consent to a secretary of defense unqualified for that high office? Is there even one Democratic senator who will hearken to President Kennedy’s admonition, “Sometimes party loyalty asks too much”?
More importantly, is there one Democratic Senator who will invite Bill Kristol over to his richly-appointed office, offer him a seat in a comfy chair, and then offer him a delicious salty snack on which to gnosh before calling security and having him deposited into a dumpster?
I think America deserves that, don’t you..?




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Lordy, Mr. Lindsay! You got another chifferobe that needs bustin’?
I had to look up chifferobe.
This site is funny and educational.
Our brave men and women in uniform deserve better than Chuck Hagel. Are there any courageous liberal voices who will find it within themselves to say so?
As a somewhat courageous liberal voice, I nominate whomever through that pie in the photo for Secretary of Defense. He/She obviously identified the true enemy of America and understands the importance of the preemptive strike in modern warfare. Cool Whip them over there, so we don’t have to Cool Whip them over here.
Best post of 2013 so far, sir.
Obama better not shove a bag of salted dicks down Kristol’s throat. I hear they ain’t kosher!
And thank dog holy Joe lieberman isn’t around to shit on things. I’m sure he’ll be on a couple of Sunday shows, as will the elusive McCranky.
Waiting round the bend
my Huckleberry friend
moon, chifferobe and you…..
Frankly, I’d support about anybody who will piss on Netanyahu’s Corn Flakes….
Kristol’s opposition to Hagel is one of the best reasons of all to be in favor of Hagel as DoD
Speaking of wierd moles, has anyone seen Donald Rumsfeld recently?
I had one removed from my face just recently. And it was smarter than Rumsfeld and, as it turns out, not as malignant.
I am so tired of the substitution of hagiograpnhy for reality.
Well, you “liberals” share support for Drone Murder with Kristol.
I think you have more in common that you’d like to admit.
These are very seerious issues. We all are troubled and have grave concerns about our comical wars and national defense leaders. But no one is more comical than gay Lindsey Graham, gay as in happy. Lindsey is happy because war continues to be everywhere and forever in space-time.
And Senator Graham is troubled, obviously very troubled because he cannot find one example of Congress doing something stupid. That is Congress doing something stupid because of the Jewish Lobby. There is no Jewish Lobby. And Congress never does anything stupid. Israel is a happy country surrounded by friendly countries and Congress is smart.
I suppose one Congress Kritter did skinny dip in the Sea of Galilee. But it was just one.
“I think we’ll be vindicated when we discover the weapons of mass destruction and when we liberate the people of Iraq.”
You know, you’re right! The ends really do justify the means!
Go to hell
I see that you enjoy trolling… just like Bill Kristol!
Eerie….
Yeah, yeah, the honorable thing for Democrats to do after dominating an election season is to do what Republicans want because to do otherwise would be ungracious, partisan, arrogant, &c. Same song, different arrangement.
(That having been said, Hagel sounded pretty poorly prepared for questions.)
Anyone who inflicted the Tundra Trash Grifter upon us has nothing to add to *any* “conversation” about other governmental appointments, whether good, bad or indifferent.
I’m not particularly fond of Chuck Hagel for this, or any other, appointment. For me, this whole exercise in futility is one giant Kabuki Show, plus bonus points for Walnuts McCrankyPants to get his crabby ugly mug in front of the cameras to continue his ceaseless bitter & twisted whining about everything. bah humbug.
That said, I’m certainly not going to be either “in favor” or “against” the appointment of Hagel based on *anything* that a stooge like Kristol says. He can go eat a bag of salted dicks. It up to him whether he likes ‘em kosher or not.
I love “Walnuts McCrankyPants” as a nickname for McCain. It’s far better than my nickname for him, Senator Gall and Wormwood.
One other thing – if it’s not okay for Kristol to chickenhawk for wars, why is it okay for you to do the same with Drone Murders?
If you think the killing is necessary, shouldn’t you be sitting in an air conditioned room in Nevada killing all those terror suspects and their friends and families around the world? Or at least trying to?
Well you say toe-MAY-toes & I say toe-MAH-toes… I kinda like Senator Gall and Wormwood, at least as an alternate. I believe I got the Walnuts McCrankyPants from someone else. Alas I cannot claim it as my own, but it does have a special ring to it… and an apt description, methinks.
… aaaand awaaay we go…
I sometime believe is Obama Nominated Dick Cheney for Secy of Defense, the wing nuts would object.
Just because of the words “Obama Nominated”.
Who do they want? Abraham Stern?
Does your mother know that you’re playing with her computer?
Hey, they’d object if he nominated *anyone* up to and including Zombie Reagan. Let’s get real. It’s all just a buncha bah-loney pushed out to get the dittoheads’s knickers in a reliable knot. That blah one in the White House can never get it “right.”
BTW, TBogg: what was the name of the Ikea End Tables that you mentioned, yesterday??? Might want some more of those again today…
I already have a nice career in place, thankyewverymuch.
Having said that, and outside of my loathing of Nevada, I wouldn’t draw the line at it. You may also be surprised to learn that I am not 100% anti-death penalty.
See. Never ask a question unless you already know what the answer will be.
“Huckleberry Closetcase”
Heeheeheee
Rubin had a noxious “column” yesterday along the same lines. The comments were primarily of the notion that since Jen was predicting the failure of the Hagel nomination that his confirmation was therefore, assured.
Am I correct to infer from this that you do not think highly of Mr. Kristol?
You loathe Nevada? Well, well, we might have something in common, after all. I don’t loathe ALL of Nevada, though. Just the desert part. Reno’s actually pretty nice.
Yeah, see? Ol’ TBogg would take you up on that offer to sit in an air-conditioned control room and blow away the Big Ol’ Bad Terrorists so long as there’s a Democrat in the White House. As soon as an ‘R’ gets in there, though, he’ll be all agin’ it.
Don’t be too hard on him, though. He get his beer money for doing this, you know. I, OTOH, get my beer money off of the federal income taxes he no doubt pays. That, at least, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.
Seriously, don’t look for moral consistency on this blog. Democrats predominate.
Oh, shut up.
I love you, too.
Back at you, OB
I’ve been drinking so perhaps I was a bit hasty.
Friday night and all…
I remember when bustin’ up a chifarobe only got you a nickel and a kangaroo court appearance.
Anywho, am I the only person that noticed one important difference about this story? True we still have to be informed of the “opinion” of a closet case and a rage addict, but no longer are we being exposed to the view of that droopy jowled douche-nozzle from Conn.?
I think it’s getting better in this country. It’s Miller Time!!!
Our genial host isn’t Snark Jesus?
Now I need a drink, too.
Hagel, unfortunately, is as much a threat to Israel as Kristol. But, ya know, fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Bill’s gotta waste oxygen.
* if Bill needs oxygen
Funny, I hadn’t. But I continue to predict he will be brought back to life as the next ambassador to Israel.
Someone should give Lindsay Graham Cracker a keeber elf or that electric eel that keeps crawling up Chris Mathews legs. Maybe he would stop reliving his life as the high school drama queen in The Senate. As for “Johnny Short Arms McCain, Chuck should asked him about what made him become a snitch in the Vietnam War. So “Johnny Short Arm” Mccain became hero because he could take and ass wipping or because his daddy was a four star admiral.Only in a America can one screw up and still be US Senator or President.Yes I calling you out too Duby.We have spend enough US Treasure on “Johnny Short Arm” McCain. He needs to get some where and sit his old irrelevant ass down.
Who’s he talking about – Harriet Meiers?
She’s probably the one person whose qualifications fail to meet with the high standard set by Sarah Palin.
Apparently someone at NRO is so outraged that Obama denounced the Nazis that they’re weighing in on the side of the Nazis.
But he IS snark Jesus!
It’s one of the things I like about him, you see. And he does his job very well.
I just disagree with him a lot. Class enemies do that.
Mayella Graham (R-Chifferobe)
Whenever Bill Kristol speaks, a pie should automatically be lobbed at his face. If I had the power I’d make this a universal law.
If Kristol thinks Hagel is the wrong choice for Defense Sec., it can only mean one thing: Chuck Hagel is the best man for the job.
You have to think of Kristol as the anti-Cassandra. Ardnassac, if you will. He’s very good at pointing out the opposite of what is correct or what should be done. If you just listen to what he says, and then do the opposite, you can be assured of doing the correct thing.
Sadly, it makes him no more tolerable. I still harbor the wish that he will choke on those salted dicks.
Idunno. I thought the Half-Term Guv made Harriet look smart.
Wow, TBogg! It’s been a while since you’ve drawn two such
informed, um,enlightened, um (I’ll get this right sooner or later…) dumber than a box of rocks trolls. Congratulations!I wouldn’t put killing a person in captivity, who poses no threat to anyone, past you.
John McCain has been wrong about everything in his life. Even the beer heiress he married turned out to be a pain pill addict. John McCain wanted Hagel for Sec of Def in 08. Now he doesn’t want Hagel for Sec of Def. One more thing he’s wrong about. One more thing he’s at the wrong place at the wrong time for. What a nasty bitter old man. Please let Obama get personally involved in McCain’s next race and beat the crap out of him.
I support President Obama. I supported his election and overall I generally support his attempts to herd the cats that make up this country (and the bassets too). However, I object to being called a liberal, since I am much closer to socialist even if in practice tempered with a sense of reality. I also object to the insinuation that I support the use of drones. In fact I object to false equivalence all over the place. Why, that’s the sort of thing Bill fking Kristol and his ilk do. With whom you evidently have much more in common that you care to admit.
The only thing I’d put past you is a cogent argument.
That and scissors… car keys, matches, power tools, bleach, lawn mowers, an internet connection…
Fucking
horrifyinghilarious!I’m thinking Zombie Mancini might rise up from the grave to drone kill it, however. Somehow, I never thought the zombie apocalypse would begin this way. Then again, if trolls are any indication…
Please proceed with the drone strikes, Mr. Zombie Mancini. And try not to cause any collateral damage to Huckleberry’s chifforobe. He, Walnuts and Holy Joe would be really pissed – to say nothing of Billy Kristol, though I doubt such an outcome would knock that creepy smirk off his face. You’d need a direct hit for that. So target wisely…
Naturally I can’t find it now, but I saw a graph the other day that showed that drone strikes have caused fewer civilian deaths than standard warfare by a wide margin. Now whether or not you think we should be shooting the people we’re shooting is up to you, but at least we don’t seem to be shooting as many people we don’t mean to shoot as we do the other way.
*applause*
A lot of writers would kill for a phrase like that.
Also too, Chuck Hagel isn’t perfect, but I do not seek perfection:
1. Perfection is a moving target.
2. Perfection is overrated.
3. Perfection is for weenies
See also: http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2008/02/25/your-mumia-sweatshirt-wont-get-you-into-heaven-anymore
Oh no! Not the comfy chair!
Bill Kristol Now Double-Dog Daring Liberals To Be As Wrong As
HimHe [Is Wrong]Reading Bill Kristol will do that your writing. It’s like hitting your brain in the frontal lobes with a cast-iron pie.
I knew what the “delicious salty snack” was before checking. I’ve been around, baby!
And I thank God that one of them wasn’t mine.
How about John Mearsheimer or Steven Walt?
Here’s a man who has not only been wrong in virtually every public pronouncement he’s made in the last decade, but still has multiple paying gigs promoting wars for other people’s kids to die in. I try to be civilized, mostly, but sometimes politesse just won’t get it done…
Fuck Bill Kristol. Sideways. Without lubricant.
Exactly. I haven’t seen a conservative who put self/party aside for the good of the nation since, uh, er, ….Chuck Hagle. And that’s exactly why McCain, et. al despise him.
silkhee: It would probably be more satisfying, if we could send forth voluntary champions to stand around in Pakistan yelling for Ayman-al Zawahiri to come out and settle this matter of who has the better civilization with bare hands. Any other sort of combat seems to get progressively “less brave”. Drones are inanitmate ojbects and the people who control them may be amoral cowards, as you suggest. But what are the people who have never exercised any responsibility for opposing deadly hostility and, from the comfort of their computer desks and pseudonyms, make doctrinaire moral pronouncements about those elected to make such decisions. What seems like cavalier murder to you may be the least murderous means to oppose fanatical killers.
See Mockingbird, To Kill a, for the reference to bustin’ up one.
I was trying to be funny.
I love this blog.
I ate some scuppernongs after begging that one armed blah to bust up my chifferobe.
Didn’t know what was inside. Turned out to be a bag of salted dicks. They were stale.
I’m going on the theory that Hagel was prepared for questions about how he would handle the Secy of Defense duties; such things as managing the withdrawal from Afghanistan, dealing with budget cuts, you know, meaningful questions. What he got was “TELL US WE WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE SURGE AND YOU WERE WRONG YOU BIG WUSSY!” Possibly those questions he was not prepared for.
Serial killer Ted Bundy escaped from custody twice.
I’m anti-death-penalty because of wrongful convictions. But when there is no reasonable doubt and it’s a case like Bundy’s I’d pull the switch myself.
“unctuous twat”
TBogg: You silver-keyboard devil!
Mr. TBogg, I have to bring you the sad news that George W. Bush’s dog Barney has passed away.
He was my favorite member of the Bush Administration. He was the one with the most gravitas and integrity. The only honest member of the bunch.
I’m sure the bassets will mourn. Please tender my sympathy to them.
Kristol is a war criminal and ought to be executed.
a day late, but I can’t go without saying – WOW!
That was just marvelous.
Jews are their own worst enemies in many cases. Illegal settlements, squelching all debate in the halls of US power.
They really should hire new PR people, some who can explain how badly they make themselves look to normal Americans. If they keep this up they will not have the vital support they believe they should get from my nation at a time of crisis.