I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away, Master! There is just too much crazy out there to avoid the snark impulse.

It’s like those bowls of chips and guacamole they keep refilling at the Mexican restaurant. Your meal hasn’t come yet, and you shouldn’t, but, well …yea, maybe I’ll just have….munch munch munch.

One thing’s fer sure: These hags will never get a chance to hear what Gawd’s Own Timmy Tebow says after winning the Super Bowl.

And that makes me happy.

A masterpiece, TBogg.

Hee!!!

Can you stop by my place o’work and recite this in front of the staff, including the clerk who’s just given birth to the perfectest liddle Bella Rose and insists on making sure that EVERYBODY ON EARTH UNDERSTANDS THAT THEY ARE SCUM AND LESS THAN HUMAN FOR NOT HAVING BIRTHED THAT CHILD?

Ahem.

‘Enkew.

boy .. i’m certainly glad i have to go a week without snark ..

You’re this funny working a hundred-hour week and it’s Andy Borowitz who has a gig at The New Yorker?

This accidental mishap has happened again and again and again, both during sporting events and live talk shows. Every time, the networks promise they will be more careful, and it will never happen again. And every time, it does. The more it happens, the more desensitized everyone becomes. No one wants their children or grandchildren to pick up this type of language.

First they learn how to say it then they learn how to do it!!
At some point civilization will crumble under all that fucking!!!

I have no tv, so saw no Beyonce (whether she lip-synced or not) or some dude named Taco Flacco. Is this something like the big bad brou-haw-haw over Janet Jackson’s Nipple-Reveal (which, btw, I actually happened to be planted in front of a tv-machine when that happened but totally missed it… like wha? was it over in 10 seconds??).

And btw, if some Gawd-botherer’s Slutty McSlut Whore of a demon-strumpet has butt-secks with 7 blah ones, how the heck does she manage to have their Baby-Daddy kids??? Wow. Inquiring minds need to know (maybe, I think).

What these ladies need is to watch “The Commitments”, in which an entire nation (the Republic of Ireland) of both sexes and all ages uses “fuck” as noun, verb, adjective, adverb, conjunction, preposition, and every other way possible within the constraints of English linguistic structure. And though they (the Irish in the movie) have their various colorful and absorbing problems, none of them seemed to be directly traceable to saying fuck.

And in a fit of Puritanism, CBS has decided that boobs and butt are just not allowed at the Grammy Awards this year! No word on where a lady can get a fashionable, yet modest burqa.

The “stars” pay all that money for new boobs and they’re supposed to hide them? I don’t think so. Made me laugh because I told someone after the last Oscar event that within 5 years the women on the red carpet would be nude from the waist up.

Based on that list from CBS I predict an outbreak of erect penises. Just sayin’ — it’s not listed.

I really cannot wait until Chris Christie runs for president because I think the ‘fucks’ fly pretty freely from his pretty mouf, again, just sayin’

Erect penises are apparently okey-dokey. They aren’t lady parts after all.

oh fuck! how the fuck can anyone explain all those v i a g r a – type ads to the impressionable youngsters
without dropping an effenheimer or two?

Okay.

In response to your post, I have now counted into the double-digits the number of Effing. Innappropriate. Replies. I. Shall. Not. Type.

Bathtubs are a substitute for the badword, apparently.

God, how funny!

Oooh! But now I want you to list them all….

Transcribed from youtube:

Perhaps on of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word Fuck.
Out of all of the English words that begin with the letter “F”, fuck is the only word that is referred to as the “F” word. It’s the one magically word just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love,

Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived from German, the word ficken which means “to strike. In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories.

As a transitive verb for instance; “John fucked Shirley.” As an intransitive verb; “Shirley fucks.” Its meaning’s not always sexual. It can be used as an adjective such as “John’s doing all the fucking work.” As part of an adverb; “Shirley talks too fucking much.” As an adverb enhancing an adjective; “Shirley is fucking beautiful.” As a noun; “I don’t give a fuck.” As part of word; “Absofuckinglutely”, or “Infuckingcredible.” And as almost every word in a sentence; “Fuck the fucking fuckers”.

As you must realize there aren’t too many words with the versatility of fuck. As in these examples describing such situations such as fraud; “I got fucked at the used car lot.” Dismay; “Ah fuck it.” Trouble; “I guess I’m really fucked now.” Aggression;” Don’t fuck with me buddy.” Difficulty; “I don’t understand this fucking question.” Inquiry; “Who the fuck was that?” Dissatisfaction; “I don’t like what the fuck is going on here.” Incompetence; “He’s a fuckoff.” Dismissal; “Why don’t you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself?”

I’m sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multipurpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly; Fuck you!”

One of these moms, and probably many more than one, coddles and protects a son like Michael Nodianos.

Just sayin’.

Tbogg. A national treasure.

Fucking Awesome!

LOL funny liberal race baiting!!…Why are we pretty sure “Joe Flacco” is “the one player for the ravens who hasnt murdered anyone”? is it, hmmmm..lets see…. because, hes, um, ah,……the quarter back ?

what the fuck else could he mean?

I’m a dad (not a mom) and have done my fair share of swearing. But geez! Some people these days can’t complete a sentence without spewing out one or two F-bombs. I could have my young daughter, my old mother, or my wife with me and they don’t give a rat’s ass. For example, today three young guys parked their car next to mine and were only around for five minutes getting their gear ready for the beach. By the time they left the F-count had gone over 100 (had I been counting). Talk about a limited vocabulary!

…very upset with CBS for ruining a perfectly lovely evening of watching large men gang-slamming their hot sweaty muscular bodies against each in an orgy of manhood and kick-ass city bragging rights and Jesus.

You have been channeling Jesus’ General. Let’s hope it’s catching.

Kindergartners are being gunned down in their classrooms and these fuckers are worried that Joe fucking Flacco utters “fucking awesome” as he walks by a fucking camera?

Fuck them. Fuck them all day long.

Thanks, but no thanks. Really.

Breaking …Hound rescued from drain pipe in Seattle. Questions remain:

http://blogs.seattletimes.com/today/2013/02/basset-hound-rescued-from-drainage-pipe-near-haller-lake-in-seattle/

Something taint rite hear.

uhh…drones?

Too fucking fabulous — thank you!!!

Fuck me, that’s fucking funny, Tom. One of your fucking best.

Just a word of caution, Tbogg. It’s that Saturday night-flanell kind of talk that will get you in trouble. Not that I understood any of that.

GWPDA, if you’re interested in making Tbogg very, very proud of you, inform the clerk who just dropped Miss Bella Rose that in a few years she’ll be the most popular gal at Ronny Raygun Middle School.

“Sheeeet, that gal can suck the chrome offa trailer hitch! Bless her heart.”

Will make for a fun filled afternoon at the office.

Now, I know that you didn’t post the address of that complaint form just hoping that your audience would go there are send complaint letters to the FCC urging them to ignore those ridiculous prudes and suggesting that if there’s any broadcast television that might help all Million of those Moms get laid it would be in the public interest to show it 24/7 on a dedicated channel.

Because that would be wrong.

Weekly Saturday Night Flannel Nightgown of Seduction, Unsatisfactory Sex, Unrequited Needs, and Shame.

Fuckin’-A right. Nothing like a quick and dutiful hump in the missionary position for purposes of procreation, only. (To be followed by interminable sobbing while begging Baby Jeezuz for forgiveness.)

Weekly Saturday Night Flannel Nightgown of Seduction,

God, that’s hot! OK, I have a thing for flannel. DON’T JUDGE ME!

Ah, if only. That would no doubt solve so many of their pent-up frustrations. I hear that nice boy Mr. Lewis is out of a job what with the Super Bowl over and all; perhaps the executive committee of 1M Moms can get in touch with him for a little flannel-and-fellatio-on-the-down-low when they’re done bitching about the ‘f’ word.

Heh, I’m reminded of the Rove quote:

“We will fuck him. Do you hear me? We will fuck him. We will ruin him. Like no one has ever fucked him!”

As BOHICA points out above, the versality of “fuck” is, well, infuckingcredible. You can even move between the literal and figurative within the same sentence. Admittedly, the word’s power is diluted through overuse, but a well placed f-bomb expresses so much in just 4 letters. I think my favorite cinematic use of the word is in “Four Weddings and a Funeral.” Something about he-man Hugh Grant waking up and starting his day with “faack!” is just too precious.

I can’t help but think that at least once, a million mom has overslept and jumped out of bed, panic-stricken, uttering, “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

effenheimer

Uffda! If I didn’t already know you were a fellow Minnesotan, that would have clinched it. Oh, fer cool!

After the dog, Nina, decided to go on a little adventure 30 feet inside a drainage pipe…

You can’t let a hound out of your sight.

Fuck the fucking Yankees. RIP Steve Gilliard.

I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away, Master!

Looks like TBOGG has created a bunch of Renfields. Ha! You think we’re going to have to start eating flies to keep our leader happy and writing? I’m thinking it might be worth it.

Hot Walrus Sex? F-Bombs? Isn’t “Flacco” slang for doing the nasty? And what about sideboob? Why isn’t Fox News all over this issue??

“Many hands make light work”
“Be there or be square”
“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
“All hail Shakira!”

Salute!