Eww.

Ugh. Is that a wig?

Sweet Judas Iscariot!!

Well I am certainly glad that I ate lunch before watching that, even if I am a bit queasy.

WTF???? That hadda be the dumbest thing I’ve seen in a long, long time.

Hey if dipshit Malkin wants to diss driving a Prius these days??? All I can say is: teh stoopit, it burnz.

Needs moar cow bell…

I know I’m just one of those liberal elites, but this is what passes for humor over there? Really, Michelle, are you unable to come up with something even remotely clever?

TBogg’s gonna get bored and threaten to quit again if you keep this up.

Holy Jeebus on a pogo stick! My son was better at satire when he was six. I can only say this woman is the very definition of narcissism. A sane and mature person would have the good sense not to be caught on camera looking this stupid, but she thinks she’s clever and doesn’t know we’re laughing at her…NOT with her.

OH…and that bit about the Prius? Goddamn proud to be the object of her mockery for driving one!!!!!!

I knew the moment I clicked on Wonkette and saw this that ol’ TBogg would have it as well. Malkin is to rhythm what Dubya was to inspirational rhetoric.

I can’t fap to this.

Compare that Malkinesque rhythmic train wreck to the video of “The Evolution of Mom Dancing”.

Jimmy Fallon (who is also not really funny, but for completely different reasons) in drag is a better, more convincing mock dancer than The Malkinator. And our FLOTUS? Of course she totally kicks her ass on the mock dance floor.

Shee-it, Tucker Swanson Frozen Dinners Carlson is a better dancer than Malkin. Though I bet his fake cheerleader outfit is tailor made.

Funny, to me it looks exactly like The “Sinking Career”

omg. that was fucking hilarious! i thought it was gonna suck like every other conservative attempt at humor but boy was i wrong! absolutely fucking hilarious! when she was digging? lol. raise the debt ceiling? lulz. those bangs? classic. the prius? take that libruls. milk is pouring out of my nose, all over my keyboard. my gut is aching from laughing! holy shit how can she even keep a straight face? BRILLIANT! i almost forgot the rain thing! so much funny! libruls might say “what the fuck are you thinking, i could watch this for a thousand years and not crack a smile” or “wtf, this is the most unfunny embarrassing piece of shit i have ever seen” or “bring this video to social security and you are guaranteed to get disability” but not me. i think it is funnier than every simpsons episode rolled into one. keep it coming michelle!!!!!!! you are a genius!

Well, it’s MINIMALLY less agonizing than the pom-pom thing…

Does anyone know where I can recover the 48 IQ points I lost watching that? I’m getting on in years, and I can’t afford to get any stupider than I already am, or they’ll put me in a home.

See now, if your pre-teen daughters or nieces had come up with something like that, you’d all be “awwww”…

How old is Malkin, btw?

Somewhere Jaye P. Morgan, Arte Johnson, and Jamie Farr trampled one another to death in an attempt to reach the gong mallet at around the 4 second mark.

She didn’t learn her lesson last time?

Heh heh heh. “learn”. Good one, auntsnow.

You know, the first thing that came to mind (what was left of it after watching the video) was

“What I wouldn’t give for a large sock with horse manure in it…”

Forget it, TBogg – irony’s dead.

I’m no big fan of the Prius and its mediocre economy–I’d far rather have the superior economy and flexibility of European diesel models, but unfortunately the U.S. still hates diesel for the most part–but since it’s become the latest addition to the liberal elitist stereotype along with lattes and Birkenstocks I suppose I’ll have to get one when it’s time to replace my coupé.

(Oh, but isn’t the Prius available only in automatic? Yuck.)

I had to google flying Menendez and I’m vaguely aware that, for some reason, it’s a big deal that Obama played golf and didn’t tell the press…or something. I just didn’t get a lot of it. I think you have to be pretty deep inside the wingnut bubble to understand some of these references.

TBogg, I really wish you’d stop making fun of the special needs children. First that poor Ben Shapiro and that unfortunate Joel Pollak, now this young lady with obvious problems. For shame.

You’d have to have your head way up your ass to think most of these things were even important enough to mock, much less understand them.

Oh, wait, there was the debt ceiling, which of course is totally an Obama thing because no other president has ever raised it before.

Nope. Can’t do it. Can NOT watch that all the way to the end.

Can’t be sure; I’d have to flip a coin to decide whether this atrocity or the defeatocrat cheer is worse/

Explain to me again how this dumbass makes a living.

“Jesse, I doan wanna!”

“But, Michelle, TBogg loves you and he’ll give us HITZ!”

“But, Jesssssssssse, I doan wanna!”

“C’mon, Michelle, I’ll let you be on top.”

“Okaaaaaaay. Only for two minutes, though.”

I said wtf and actually clicked on the link….made it to 15 seconds before my brain shut down. ‘Must never get out of the boat; must never get out of the boat’, he muttered, slinking away, feeling really filthy about the whole episode.

The Prius thing just shows how out of touch she is. You need to a Volt, a Leaf, or if you’re a rich liberal, a Tesla. The Prius is so last decade.

All that was missing was David Gregory and Karl Rove.

I’ll be looking forward to this at next year’s Academy Awards best short film ceremony.

it didn’t even take a whole viewing for my “got a thing about Asian girls” boner to die. slowly. agonizingly. whimpering quietly … damn you TBogg! damn you to hellllllll!

I won’t click that shit.

Wowser. I really think she’s turning Japanese or something. Also too, needs more cartwheels.

‘Mediocre’ economy? 45mpg at 10 years old?
Also – it’s easier to drive than other automatics I’ve met. (I drove stick for 20 years before I met a Prius. Damn near seamless transition.)

Is she going for a Blues Brothers/Asian look? I can’t figure out how she even came up with the idea. Who is she supposed to be?

Uh-huh, “many a viewing.” I only watched once, but I doubt it gets more Shakiraized on repeat watching.

I suppose the wig with the bangs is her version of mocking Michelle Obama. The problem with that being, of course, that the bangs are so short the first person that comes to mind is Moe of The Three Stooges fame. Maybe if it had been Moe there might have been a chance the vid would have been funny, that is, to a bunch of pre-adolescent boys with inferiority/bully complexes.

Oh. Maybe I’ve stumbled upon a truth. Who knew?

Wow. 39 comments in and no one is calling you a terrible distraction from the real problems in society for ignoring NObama’s evil right wing policies blah-de-fucking-blah.

It’s enough to give me hope for about 3 seconds..

Not sure which is worse: This video, or the picture of Kim Kardashian’s butt at the bottom of the Wonkette site.

I don’t know what’s more sad- her attempt to be clever with “this is what you look like”, or her attempt at being hip by making a parody of an iPod commercial from 2003.

Tbogg came out of retirement for this?

While I am impressed with their embrace of technology in cleverly using a green screen to put an orange background behind her, I can’t help feeling that they could improve the product by having a script, or even just thinking about what they were going to do for a few moments before turning on the camera and going for their one take.

Why, in the name of all that is holy, did she do this? Doesn’t she have any friends that talk her out of stuff? Does she not own a mirror? At least the cheerleader bit was unintentionally funny but this is just pathetic, petty and mean-spirited. But then, Pathetic, Petty, and Mean-Spirited seems to be the current Republican motto…

45 mpg just doesn’t seem very amazing considering that a diesel Fiesta gets 20 mpg more and will probably own any hybrid when it comes to length of life. Simpler is always better. Hell, the 17+ year old zero-features Civic hatchback my best friend owns still gets 35-40 mpg on unleaded, and he can actually service the damn thing himself if he needs to.

Greatest. Headline. Ever.

TBogg could never stay retired because of things like this.

He retired?

I have a very bad feeling about this. Now TBogg has two ludicrous Malkin videos to whip on us if we get out of line…

Leave Moses Horwitz ALOOOOONNNNEEEE!

It might work on the side of the road, advertising tax preparations for disabled ninjas. Anyway, I feel for the poor boy and hope he’s able to find some kind of work.

Although I am fascinated by weirdness, this ‘video’ goes beyond the pale. Her spastic attempt at humor, parody and dancing seem to be a vignette of the wingnut outlook on life- paranoid, unrealistic, distorted and myopic.

Re: vehicle efficiency- my old diesel Benz gets 30 mpg, and the Creaturette’s Honda does about 38 mpg (she likes little cars, I don’t). My old Chevy trucks, though, get 10 & 15 mpg. The Benz is called ‘Otto’s Revenge’, the big-block Chevy, ‘Sultan’s Delight’- the other vehicles are anonymous, so far. A balanced approach to reality is very calming and, well, realistic.

Unlike the wingnuts’ vision of the world.

Well, I for one am grateful for the subtitles, since without them I would have been concerned she was experiencing some kind of seizure.

We’re going to be seeing this same kind of shit until the last Republican who voted for G-Dubya dies aren’t we?

Pierce has this up, too.

Holy shit! I just spewed coffee out my butt!

Is that monkey in heat?

The Prius thing – are conservatives really that dumb? Are they simply not familiar with hybrid cars?

Perhaps when hybrids came out conservatives just refused to encounter them, turning away in horror if a friend or neighbor drove one, refusing to get inside a hybrid taxi; spurning manufacturers that put them out. And so, ever since the year 2000, when the Prius first appeared in the US, has the conservative tribe deliberately kept itself in ignorance about them technology, as a badge of honor?

Do they snicker amongst themselves about imagined Prius breakdowns, perhaps the way doubters of old snickered about Farmer Brown having to harness up Old Dobbin to pull the city folks’ fancy Model-T out of the mud on the farm road?

Or scoff about how that radio that plays pictures is never going to catch on as long as folks like to go out to the moving picture shows?

Seriously, is there still a conservative school of thought that doubts the viability of hybrid cars?

Seriously, is there still a conservative school of thought that doubts the viability of hybrid cars?

Many of them blame liberals for Jesus not showing up so I’m gonna say yes.

Strangely, one of my previous cars was a zero-features Civic, which I loved. All my cars up until the Prius were stick (Peugeot, two Beemers, two Hondas). That said, I have 99,449 miles on this Prius and it’s probably the best car I’ve ever owned. I’ve got economy *and* electric windows *and* A/C. When I got it, there weren’t any super econo diesels, so I’ll take all that gas money I’ve saved over the last 9 years and buy a first class ticket to Germany and rent one.

Seriously, is there still a conservative school of thought that doubts the viability of hybrid cars?

Well BigOil has highly paid shills out there – El Lushbo being chief amongst them with this Malkin-creature spazing away for a lower grift amount, clearly – to peddle loony snake oil to these chuckleheaded TeaBaggerz, which sez, in effect, that Hybrids is turrribul, just turribul, plus yew’ll look all librul ‘n stuff if ya submitz to gittin’ in wonna them thar dastardly Satan-inspired machines.

Seriously, I don’t get it. I thought the Prius was just an economical car to drive. Who knew that it forever BRANDS me as the screaming ass, Latte-drinking, majorly elitist LIEbrul that I am??? oh well…

Good Fuel Economy! WAR! Bitches! Get Some!

OT, but . . .

Tbogg, aren’t you paying tuition to NYU for the L&T Casey?

Take a look at where that tuition’s gone in the past. [And who knows, maybe some payments are still being made over time.]

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/26/nyregion/lew-treasury-nominee-got-exit-bon
us-from-nyu.html

I haven’t watched this – I dasn’t – but is there a segment called the Porkulus?

Who knew that it forever BRANDS me as the screaming ass, Latte-drinking, majorly elitist LIEbrul that I am?

oh, that’s been common knowledge among assholes for at least 8 years.

L’enfant writes: How old is Malkin, btw?

Based on visual clues such as body shape, degree of grace in movement, carriage, etc., I’d have to say that she is a nine-year-old boy.

Looks like she put a lot of time and effort into this. Oh well, if she’s busy doing this crazy shit, she can’t be lying her silly little ass off to television audiences.

It’s kind of comforting.*

H/T “Local Hero”

GM is introducing the 2014 Chevrolet Cruze Clean Turbo Diesel in June this year. I really hope it’s a winner.

And Malkin. She’d have been great with SNL: The Jean Doumanian years.

Is this the Right’s version of the Special Olympics? I agree with you — it’s performance art of the highest quality, & I hope it never stops!

Not clicking.

Didn’t have the boner in the first place, thus no reason to kill it.

(Although just the title image should be enough.)

Recently caught Costner’s wildly expensive 1995 epic Waterworld on one of the cable channels, and was surprised by the fact that I kinda of liked it, and surmised that one of the reasons is that we are getting closer to the alternity proposed in the movie.

Yes, the polar ice caps are in fact melting at an alarmingly increasing rate, and then there’s “The Smokers”– hooligans who take great pleasure in burning off fossil fuels as wastefully as possibly. Fuck you, ecosystem! Praise Saint Joe Hazlewood!

Hear the resonances?

There is wingnut train of thought that using the lawd’s bounty to comfort us AKA wasting stuff (water, oil, coal, etc.) is going to hasten the end times and jeebus’s triumphant return to claim is faithful supplicants.

Fucking mythology, how does it work?

Needs more wig glue. Nice callback to Mickey Rooney in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” in the “Finger of Blame” segment. Benny Hill music bumps it up a notch.

sweet fancy Moses

She skank you long time…

Hey Chris, you’re a Hollywood writer type, no? Is the inside scoop that Waterworld was a proof-of-concept vehicle for the 21st century?

Maybe I liked Waterworld because it reminded me of an assignment from 6th grade: design a country with a functioning economy, and describe how it all works, the businesses based there, international trade with other countries, etc. All I wanted to design was an island with lots of pretty horses to ride and no stupid boys on it to screw up my mellow….

I’m leasing a 2013 Obummer Dronz. It gets 430 mpg and I can bomb the shit out of anyone, anytime or just snoop on the tinfoilhatcrowd. I’ll trade it in for a GP Unicorn (430 miles per sparkle toot) when President Jill Stein finally gets elected president…

A big part of the problem that GOPrs have with Michelle Obama is that she’s objectively hot, she’s objectively hotter than previous GOP presidential wives – the only other FLOTUS who is on Michelle O’s level is Jackie Kennedy. And to top it off Michelle O’s blackity black black. I’m glad Obama got reelected, if for nothing else, it drives the wingnuts up the wall that both Obamas, especially, Michelle is doing whatever she wants to do because the pressure of another election isn’t there. She wants to award an Oscar she’s doing it. She wants to go on Jimmy Fallon and act silly like a regular person she’s doing it.

Recently caught Costner’s wildly expensive 1995 epic Waterworld on one of the cable channels, and was surprised by the fact that I kinda of liked it

As one of the eight people that enjoyed Ishtar, I fee-ul yore pain.

String writes: Hey Chris, you’re a Hollywood writer type, no? Is the inside scoop that Waterworld was a proof-of-concept vehicle for the 21st century?

I’m not a writer type, I’m Chief of Engineering for 24frame.com and my primary function is to maintain and repair the video and computer gear that we rent to tv and film productions.

Sort of a behind the behind the scenes guy, if you see what I mean, and I don’t think you’ll ever see a credit for me on the IMDB.

Every once in a while I’ll show up on a movie set, to run and dress some cable or explain to a grossly overpaid union video operator how to operate the equipment we gave him, but that’s rare.

Your hot potato might be better addressed to friend Scott Clevenger over at World o’ Crap. You’re welcome, Scott!

The technology is essentially that of the RC model aircraft flown by hobbyists for as long as I have been alive.

Perhaps it’s the sexy nomenclature (predator, drone) that makes you think instead of killer robots, but it’s fucking RC model planes.

Aldous Huxley references that aren’t about Brave New World rarely appear. Congratulations on a good one.
oldswede

Not the way to troll liberals. This doesn’t make me angry, it just makes me feel bad for poor Michelle.

Yes, that poor nasty lying sack of shit Michelle Malkin. Sorry, Satanic, I feel that it’s a truism of life that if you are going to devote yours to dishonesty and sowing discord for a right wing stipend, then you fucking deserve whatever you get, and she should be glad that it is nothing more than gentle derision.

You also seem to have misapprehended the sense of the word “troll” which in this context refers to posting commentary with no other purpose than to elicit angry response, which pretty much means, well, that it describes you, and you alone, pal.

Chris, while I’m never 100% certain about these things, I believe SatanicPanic is saying that Michelle Malkin is the one attempting to troll liberals here, while simultaneously giving her fanboys stiffies. If it works by successfully pissing off libs – and it doesn’t seem to be working; libs know her shtick too well at this point – while helping her hold on to her fan base, it’s kind of a two-fer for her.

She’s gotta be worrying about her ‘sell-by date’ about now, given the basis on which she self-markets. Some of her key marketing assets don’t age well, IYKWIM,AITTYD. She’ll be following the same path worn by Bible Spice some day soon.

This recent write-up should help to flesh this out a bit.

Thing is, when you get right down to it, you do not have a right to be unobserved. Me, I live in Los Angeles, and helicopters overhead are common, and have been for decades, and they are there for law enforcement surveillance purposes. There’s cameras all over the town, and I’m okay with it. My advice, pull your shades when you have sex.

Suddenly you are concerned about RC aircraft. Why?

Okay, and I am red faced; I assumed that SatanicPanic had erroneously omitted a comma between “troll” and “liberals,” and having assumed its insertion, was therefore castigating commenters here for jumping up and down on “poor Michelle.”

My apologies to SP if I’ve misread the comment.

Satanic? Which is it?

No shit.

You must be fun at parties….

Suddenly you are concerned about RC aircraft. Why?

Sheesh, you slow.

About those two excruciatingly bad videos? This isn’t going to end well because we’re smart ass kids in the back row and we’re always out of hand.