Future Hillary slayer and past Dave Sirota one-night-stand, Rand Paul makes a perfectly reasonable pitch for money, and by “perfectly reasonable” we mean that, if you think Alex Jones is actually a squishy Conspiracy Nut In Name Only, then Rand Is Your Man(d):

Dear fellow Patriot,

Gun-grabbers around the globe believe they have it made.

You see, only hours after re-election, Barack Obama immediately made a move for gun control…

On November 7th, his administration gleefully voted at the UN for a renewed effort to pass the “Small Arms Treaty.”

But after the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut — and anti-gun hysteria in the national media reaching a fever pitch — there’s no doubt President Obama and his anti-gun pals believe the timing has never been better to ram through the U.N.’s global gun control crown jewel.

I don’t know about you, but watching anti-American globalists plot against our Constitution makes me sick.

This Spring, the United Nations went back into session to finalize their radical so-called “Small Arms Treaty.”

With the treaty finalized, a full U.S. Senate ratification showdown could come any time President Obama chooses and there will be very little time to fight back.

If we’re to succeed, we must fight back now.

That’s why I’m helping lead the fight to defeat the UN “Small Arms Treaty” in the United States Senate.

And it’s why I need your help today.

Will you join me by taking a public stand against the UN “Small Arms Treaty” and sign the Official Firearms Sovereignty Survey right away?

Ultimately, UN bureaucrats will stop at nothing to registerban and CONFISCATE firearms owned by private citizens like YOU.

To be honest, I wasn’t sold until that all-caps ‘YOU’ at which point it became personal for me.

You want some more of this truth-telling? CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

Of course you can:

You can bet the UN is working to FORCE the U.S. to implement every single one of these anti-gun policies:***  Enact tougher licensing requirements, making law-abiding Americans cut through even more bureaucratic red tape just to own a firearm legally;

***  CONFISCATE and DESTROY ALL “unauthorized” civilian firearms (all firearms owned by the government are excluded, of course);

***  BAN the trade, sale and private ownership of ALL semi-automatic weapons;

***  Create an INTERNATIONAL gun registry, setting the stage for full-scale gun CONFISCATION.

Somewhere, Wayne LaPierre, is going “…that guy seems a little high-strung“.

I found the brief progressive flirtation with Rand Paul – because he is anti-drone (but not really) and pro-hemp – to be fascinating. Because, while he seemed intriguing in that brief speed-dating interview that was his filibuster, eventually after a few dates you know he’s going to want to invite you back to his bachelor pad so that you can check out his bitchin’ collection of back-road Kentucky hitchhiker’s heads in jars and then maybe followed by a light poop.

Also to listen to Enya, which is even worse….