Who’s to blame when parties really get out of hand?
Who’s to blame when they get poorly planned?

While most congressmen are enjoying  summer vacation with their families or experiencing first love at band camp, a handful of   Republicans have camped out on the floor of the House and are refusing to go outside and expose their pasty freckled bodies to the blazing summer sun. Instead they’re making grand speeches to a few tourists who have wandered into the gallery by mistake when all they really want to do is find a bathroom or that place that sells those Soft-Serv Freedom Cones. When you are Patrick Ruffini, this is a sign that we are witnessing the Birth of the Next Right … or something:

#dontgo is officially a movement. MoveOn is mobilizing against the House Republicans and the rightosphere this afternoon. I don’t think they’ve ever done this in response to a grassroots conservative protest. Something has changed.

There has been nothing worthwhile to speak of in recent years that’s emanated solely from the base like this has. It’s worth our time to take a step back and understand what made this success possible.

First, while Reps. Mike Pence and Tom Price provided the spark by starting the House floor revolt, it was the rightosphere (and crucially, the Twitterverse) that poured the gasoline.

For those seeking to locate the "rightosphere" or the "Twitterverse" turn left at the Wankosphere and keep going until you see a treehouse on Dumbasstopia with a sign that reads ‘No Girlz ‘r Dark Peplz Aloud’.

Later Ruffini points out how really really great this whole Twitterversphere is going to be:

Earlier today, I was priviliged(sic) to talk to a few dozen bloggers on a conference call put together by Eric Odom, one of the masterminds behind #dontgo. While Eric was asking me a question, a thought struck me. August has actually been somewhat of a critical month in the last few elections, and #dontgo could make it again this time.

It was on August 11, 2006 that George Allen, cruising to re-election, made the Macaca gaffe. Initially, Allen didn’t take too big a hit in the polls — but after issuing what must have been a dozen different apologies and enduring three consecutive weeks of Washington Post hit jobs, Jim Webb was made competitive — and the Senate was lost.

See! They can so learn.

Meanwhile, back at the House, things aren’t going so well and we find our old pal, Thaddeus "Rock and Roll Animal" McCotter is hating on his Commander in Chief and, by extension, America:

A House Republican leader is lambasting President Bush on his decision not to call Congress back into session to deal with the energy crisis.

In a legislative update sent to GOP members and staff on Tuesday, Republican House Policy Committee Chairman Thaddeus McCotter (Mich.) accused "Beijing George" Bush of throwing House Republicans "under the bone-dry bus" on his way to the Olympics in China.

House GOP leaders last week called on Bush to convene an emergency session of Congress, but the White House said such a move would not make a difference because Democrats would not call for an up-or-down vote on offshore drilling legislation.

McCotter, known for his frank and sometimes unusual political opinions, was not pleased with that decision. His memo stated, "Today, in his final term, the wildly unpopular President George W. Bush boarded Air Force One bound for the Beijing Olympics and a meeting with his chum Hu Jintao, the dapper ruler of a nuclear armed, communist dictatorship. … Perhaps our Compassionate Conservative-in-Chief will bring our absent Democrat Congress some ‘Made in (communist) China’ souvenir t-shirts: ‘Bush went to Beijing and all I got was this lousy five week, paid vacation.’ "

The memo ends, "Bon Voyage, Mr. Bush! House Republicans will fight on for America!"

Well. That was certainly a bitter little toad that hopped out of his mouth.

Later this week the last remaining  House Republicans will split into two tribes, tempers will flare, war will be declared and eventually someone will beat the shit out of Patrick McHenry because they need the lenses from his glasses in order  to start a fire so they can make S’Mores.

Which should give them something to write home about.