Fort Apache The Couch

Obama Administration officials (L to R)
Secretaries of HHS, Agriculture, Transportation, and Interior

Perhaps it’s the economy or maybe  it’s Fear of a Barack Planet, but Americans are scooping up guns  by the armload (also seen here) because, come the revolution, wild hordes of white guilt-tripped liberals will begin roaming the countryside looting, plundering, socialisming, tipping over barbeques and kidnapping nubile young white females between the ages of 18 and 24 to be handed over to their Zulu overlords for their rapacious pleasure.

Or something like that.

No. Really. The wingnuts have gone so far around the bend that their heads are starting to catch up with their asses. They’ve gotten themselves so adrenalized with  fear,  paranoia, and Mountain Dew Code Red that every time the newspaper boy whacks the front door with the paper they’ll be diving behind the loveseat and taking out the John Wayne Collector plate collection with a spray of hot American lead. Better that the Duke takes one for the team than people making over $607k start paying 8.7% more in taxes, which isn’t as catchy as Better Dead Than Red, but you have to go with the tax proposals you have, not the fear of the Red Menace you wish you had.

Of course, amongst the loin girding, chest thumping, and lock and loading sometimes not everyone is on board with the whole Alas, Thunderdome scenario and they just end up harshing the whole vibe for all of the kids.

Case in point: over at Manshake LLC (dba Protein Wisdom) Godlstein is holding yet another pledge drive to keep the flow of  theories on intentionalism, otherness, narrative, and talking breakfast foods a’comin’. Naturally, once the money starts flowing, the talk turns to What A Man Needs:

Comment by Jeff G. on 10/26 @ 8:42 pm

There’s a gun show coming up here Nov 1-2. If I can meet my goal and bring in a couple hundred extra, I’ll probably spring for a Glock 19. If not, I’ll pick up a shotgun at Wal-Mart or some such.

I’m really getting kind of scared here.

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Comment by Pablo on 10/26 @ 8:47 pm

Yeah, I’ve also been thinking about the gaps in my self protection regime. While I could use a couple of three more lead spitters, I’d really like to get me a couple of these. That would make for a damned happy homestead.

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Comment by Blitz on 10/26 @ 8:47 pm

Jeff? I can go to a gun show 24/7 behind the local Store 24… Sad to say, but here in MA? That’s the proper way to deal in firearms.

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Comment by Blitz on 10/26 @ 8:52 pm

 Hmmm…A mossberg 12 ga pump (18″ barrel) is an awesome home or truck or shed defense weapon…trust me on this…also? Cheap and noisy. Noisy is your friend in a home defense situation.

When all else fails? You have your catch thingy. Wish I’d learned that instead of basic home defense.

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Comment by Jeff G. on 10/26 @ 8:54 pm

Hand to hand I’m good. But I want a carry permit and a nice pistol. If ever there was a time, that time is now.

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Comment by TmjUtah on 10/26 @ 8:55 pm

Effective, reliable, available, cheap.

Those are your parameters for weaponry. You get to drop the last metric if you want to.

There’s a glut of black rifles on the shelf in my area. I originally stockpiled the milsurp calibers because it was cheap, and the pistol calibers I load for because buying components in bulk was way cheap in per-unit expense.

If you are late to the game, buy the best carbine you can afford, plus a hundred rounds. Semi auto is convenient but lever or even pump will work. You want something you can use effectively, and won’t be impossible for the average adult in your immediate family/social circle to use. The S&W entry into the AR clone market is well made but light; you have to buy sights for it, too.

I’m picking up two Makarov pistols next week. Evil combloc 9×18mm caliber, blowback operation. Two clips each and a case of ammo, and I’ll be able to fam fire the whole fandamily and then cache them.

Not “bury them in the desert”; just pack them in their pocket in the go bags, next to their bagged holsters. Trying to bury guns in the West Desert of Utah is a wasted effort since you just dig up somebody else’ PVC vault.

Unless you just have to have an AK variant or SKS, and you must have a rifle caliber, my vote goes for .223. You can buy 50 rd boxes of soft-point 55gr reloads for about $21.00 a throw. There’s your hundred rounds pretty quick.

Always remember, though, you must obey the first rule of gun fighting. Everything else is just tactics.

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Comment by serr8d on 10/26 @ 9:23 pm

20-gauge, TmjUtah? No way. This isn’t a dove hunt we’re talking about.

A tactical shotgun, with a folding stock and a pistol grip. Minimum legal barrel length is 18″, for fast inside sweeps. A mounted flashlight.

But if you are going to have one, Jeff or anyone else, be prepared to use it if necessary, and the sooner the better. Don’t have a fit of conscience and wait until you’re cornered or someone’s getting hurt. Mentally, the preparation for using a gun is as or more difficult than the actual physics of it. But you’ve exercised that way too I’m sure.

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Finally an adult yells down to the kids in the living room that playtime is over:

Comment by Jeff G. on 10/26 @ 9:55 pm

Nevermind.

My wife doesn’t want a gun and doesn’t want to have the conversation. I’m “all doom and gloom” and “overreacting.”

So I guess that means I’ll have to hope I can disarm criminals and break their fucking necks — probably getting stuck or shot in the process — to defend my family.

But hey, at least we won’t be one of those “gun owners.” And really, it ain’t her skin in the game.

Maybe I can sneak some throwing stars into the house…

I assume that Mrs. Godlstein also told him to put the cushions back on the couch, go wash up because company was coming over and, "no", nobody wants to watch Straw Dogs again.

Kill joy.