SexyBack

Ohio State freshman Justin Higgins explains at PJ Media  why the kids don’t want to party with John McCain, Mitch McConnell, and John Boehner:

Conservatism needs to become sexy again.

I give up.

No.

Really.

When exactly was conservatism "sexy"? I don’t remember it even looking good at closing time after quite a few drinks and maybe even a little blunt force head trauma. In fact, based upon the most recent election, it appears that quite a few people who jumped in bed with conservatism eight years ago spent the last year or so  doing the walk of shame and secretly hoping they didn’t catch herpes.

But let’s indulge OSU Buckeye Justin and find out what it takes to make young conservative junk in the box pop up and say "Hello!":

We need to emphasize the elements of conservatism that empower the individual, expand liberty, and defend freedom. We need to break down issues like earmarks into simple terms, and explain that it’s not about changing the rules in the Senate. It’s about fixing our government and building a future without debt, a future with strong American consumers making individual decisions. We need to talk about the elements of conservatism that create a strong culture, instead of talking about the “inside baseball” issues surrounding the Supreme Court. We need an ambassador to the idealists just as John McCain or Mitt Romney were ambassadors to the pragmatists who focused on policy solutions but not public relations solutions. To win the youth, conservatism needs to become “sexy” again, and we have to start talking about issues in a way that shows that they matter to my generation.

We don’t have to dumb down our agenda or abandon our principles for populist rhetoric, but we need a strategy that convinces people they need to vote for America’s future, and that the Republican Party isn’t the party of old ideas or “rich white guys.” As much as I hate to admit it, the Democrats have successfully made that our image.

So it was really unfair of Democrats to force a bunch of white Republican guys to pose for a picture when they were celebrating ‘empowering the individual and expanding liberty’ by limiting a woman’s ability to make reproductive choices for herself. Although it was still kind of sexy because vaginas were tangentially involved and, when you’re a young Republican, sometimes that’s considered sniffing distance… if you’ll forgive the entirely inappropriate and ill-chosen colloquial expression.

And while  breaking down "issues like earmarks into simple terms" doesn’t sound particularly conserva-sexy,  when you consider the alternative it’s positively Boehner-inducing.