The Big Game

Time-out in the big game.

Coach: Okay men, we’re going to throw a pass.

Lefty McGhee: It’s third and nine Coach, they’ll be expecting a pass. We should run a draw.

Coach: I can’t hear you.

Lefty McGhee: I said, we should-

Asst. Coach: Look, you f*#cking retard, shut the hell up!

Lefty McGhee: But everybody and his brother is looking for a pass. A draw would surprise the heck out of them!

Coach: Which is why we’re not doing it. I think we can make friends with these guys.

Lefty McGhee: Make friends with who?

Coach: Them, the other team.

Lefty McGhee: Make friends with them?! They’re our arch-rival!

Coach: I’m holding out the olive branch.

Lefty McGhee: What?! I thought you wanted to win.

Coach: No, a tie would be fine.

Lefty McGhee: But we’re losing!

Coach: It depends on how you look at it.

Lefty McGhee: It’s 14-10, that’s losing.

Asst. Coach: You have a bad attitude. You don’t understand all that’s going on behind the scenes.

Lefty McGhee: It’s 14-10! That’s the bottom line! Coach, run the draw play.

Coach: Make me.

Lefty McGhee: What?!

Coach: Make me run the draw play.

Lefty McGhee: You’re the Coach, you call the plays.

Coach: Right and I’m calling a pass. Throw it to number 23.

Lefty McGhee: We don’t have a number 23.

Coach: I know, but they do. They’ll never see it coming.

Lefty McGhee: Great! Just great! That’ll fool ‘em.

Coach: I call it ‘Bipartisan Right’ on three. Got it?

Lefty McGhee: Oh yeah, I got it. And I’m the retard.

Comments are closed.