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December 03, 2012

It’s A Dead Man’s Party, Who Could Ask For More

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As noted last night, Boy Genius Matthew Boyle has joined Andrew Breitbart’s Crypt O’ Cretins and now here is his initial offering: a Declaration of #War where he pledges to fight The War Of Ideas here in America rather than, you know, enlisting in the military because the real war is here in the homeland and not fighting with A BUNCH OF PUSSIES WHO ENLIST TO FIGHT IN SOME ARAB BACKWATER BECAUSE THEY CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

I’m enlisting to fight in Andrew Breitbart’s war.

The political class in Washington has degraded America. Republicans and Democrats blame each other, and nothing gets done. The media exacerbates the problem, fans the flames and encourages false notions of “civility” and “objectivity” while pushing “bipartisanship” that doesn’t actually solve problems.

While this charade perpetuates indefinitely, America grows weaker.

And if that last sentence didn’t make you LOL…

It reminds me of a conversation I had with Andrew right around the time the Occupy movement started. I had at first, like many others, wrongly brushed it off as nothing more than a moronic bunch of college kids crapping on police cars. Then, I saw it for it was. So even though it was late I called Andrew that night and told him I had figured out Occupy was just another front that the institutional left was using to push its agenda.

“I know, Matthew,” Andrew simply responded.

Then Andrew Breitbart went to a Brentwood bar, got drunk, and God killed him.

The End.

But wait… there’s more:

The mainstream media is supposed to shine that sunlight into those holes and under those rocks. But, by and large, the media has failed. So many times over the past several years, I’ve heard stories about how once-respected journalistic institutions – newspapers, wire services, television networks, even websites – refused to run articles because the reporters or editors were friends with the politicians they were going to write about. The establishment media has become a part of the establishment class. That means it’s against their best interests to do the right thing and expose the corruption that plagues Washington – if they did, they’d be fighting against themselves.

At Breitbart News, I plan to investigate these people. Together with Breitbart News, I’m going to expose corruption in Washington.

It’s going to be a long fight. It’ll probably take the rest of our lives – if not longer (and I’m young – I’m only 25. That’s a long, long time for me, hopefully).

I’m going to put it all on the line because we need to stop these people. And the way to do it is to expose them for what they really are – and catch them in the act. That’s why I’m enlisting in Andrew Breitbart’s army. I’m joining Breitbart News, effective immediately. I’m shipping out today. It’s time to go to war. Will you join us?

Haven’t I read something like this before? Why, yes, I have from Bill Kristol’s dumb chickenhawk son-in law:

The Washington Free Beacon is here to enter the arena of combat journalism. Our talented staff will add to the chorus of enterprising conservative reporters, publishing original stories, seeking out scoops, and focusing on the myriad connections between money and power in the progressive movement and Obama’s Washington. Our research and war room divisions will supplement that reporting with context, additional materials, and breaking video. At the Beacon, you will find the other half of the story, the half that the elite media have taken such pains to ignore: the inside deals, cronyism cloaked in the public interest, and far-out nostrums of contemporary progressivism and the Democratic Party. At the Beacon, all friends of freedom will find an alternative to the hackneyed spin, routine misstatements, paranoid hyperbole, and insipid folderol of Democratic officials and the liberal gasbags on MSNBC and talk radio. At the Beacon, we follow only one commandment: Do unto them.

Oh, my stars, they do so love to jaw-jaw about the war-war, don’t they…?


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