Mexican Chunky Reese Witherspoon Is Killing America

By: Sunday December 2, 2012 11:01 pm

Uteri aficionado and all-around ladies man Ross Douthat is fretting once again about the fact that women still aren’t cranking out babies like runamuck Pez dispensers, a topic Ross previously addressed when it came to his attention that the poors were throwing away perfectly good white babies when children in China rich white ladies on [...]

Sandra Fluke Is The Rosa Parks Of Vaginas

By: Monday November 26, 2012 10:27 pm

Hoo boy, Young Master Ex-Virgin Ben Shapiro is pitching a hate-tent in his pants because Time magazine is considering Sandra Fluke as a possible Person of the Year, even though she is a woman, so not really a “person” per se: Just when you think Time magazine can’t make any more of a mockery of [...]

Today We Are All Chunky Reese Witherspoon

By: Sunday November 18, 2012 10:36 pm

Shorter Ross Douthat: Poor Mexican atheist sluts are ruining America and someday the smug liberals who have enabled them will reap this baby-momma godless sex whirlwind

Sodom & Gobama

By: Thursday October 25, 2012 10:43 pm

Oh MY! how the delicate petunias of the right lost their poop this morning because the President used the swear “b*llsh*t”  (which is the word ‘bullshit’ for you dumb motherfuckers who don’t speak asterisk) when talking about Mitt Romney: You know what? I know a POTUS has to deal with a lot of stress and [...]

Mitt Romney’s War On Fap-Americans

By: Friday September 14, 2012 12:30 pm

Having alienated the poors, blahs, olds, browns, gayz, wimmens, youngs, and unions, Mitt Romney is now attempting to throw his largest constituency (middle-aged white men who look at their wives and don’t see a busty MILF cheerleader/boss/teacher/furry butt-slut, so they go back to watching SportsCenter) under the bang bus: Mitt Romney’s campaign told a leading [...]

Sunday In The Vagina With Ross

By: Monday August 27, 2012 12:59 am

Shorter Ross Douthat: I will grudgingly agree to allow rape victims to terminate their pregnancies if you will allow me to incrementally restrict the reproductive rights of all of the other women, most of whom are willingly giving it away because they’re sluts. C’mon. I’m meeting you half way… Previous Douthat Vagina Monologues here, here, [...]

The Lovesong Of J. Alfred Douthat

By: Wednesday August 15, 2012 12:34 am

Ross Douthat’s Ode to a Ryan: LET us go then, you and I, Where the spreadsheet is but a Power Point Like a patient etherized upon a table; With naught but an insufficient voucher with which to pay, The muttering Koch retreats Of restless Republicans in cheap grey suits And answerless questions over bottles of [...]

Today We Are All Citizens Of Whore Island

By: Wednesday August 1, 2012 10:36 am

Today, while most right-thinking Americans are demonstrating their love for Jesus and their hate of homos by eating deep-fried diabetes sandwiches at Chick-fil-A, normal Americans who are more concerned with what is going on in their own pants are getting some free sexy stuff from Barack Obama’s Smooth Love Sexytime socialist government:  Beginning today, up [...]

She Aborted Me With Science

By: Sunday June 10, 2012 2:15 pm

Oh, Jesus Christ, Ross Douthat is trying to climb into your vagina again. Here we go… Shorter Ross Douthat: I’m not saying the recent advances in science are going to turn us all into a bunch of Nazis. I’m just saying that recent advances in science are going to turn liberals into Nazis because, after [...]

Calvin Freiburger Does Not Care For Your Vagina Bowling Name

By: Tuesday May 1, 2012 12:29 pm

Forced birth homunculus Calvin Freiburger, who is a member of the HeartBeat Teens (which is surprisingly not a sexy boy-band), wishes to express his distaste with ladies who take their vaginas out for an evening of abortion bowling:’s Susan Berry reports on one of the pro-abortion movement’s more colorful fundraising ideas in recent memory: [...]

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