You can sell your paintings on the sidewalk, by a cafe where I hope to be workin’ soon.

By: Monday June 10, 2013 5:18 pm

To stem the onslaught of Tebow emails I’m receiving: God is sending his huskier and more sanctimonious son to Godless (except for the Catholics) Boston where he will be coached by HoodySatan: Quarterback Tim Tebow will be signing with the New England Patriots and joining their minicamp Tuesday, a person familiar with the situation tells [...]

Now Playing For The Bargain Bin Blues…

By: Sunday May 19, 2013 8:04 pm

Attentive reader Sean D. sends us news from afar about how afar Juicebox Jesus has a’fallen You’ll notice that the $3.58 clearance sticker is the third in a series of markdowns. In many ways, this reflects what the Jets went through on draft day when they tried to unload Timmy and found no takers. I [...]

Juicebox Jesus: The Forsakening

By: Monday April 29, 2013 9:50 am

Not even God saw this coming: One year after bringing Tim Tebow to Broadway, creating a nationwide fascination that slowly evolved into controversy, the New York JetsĀ on Monday made the long-anticipated move of releasing one of the NFL’s most popular players. The Jets confirmed the release in a three-paragraph news release, a long way from [...]

The Forsaken

By: Sunday February 3, 2013 8:40 am

  It is entirely possible that the announcers at today’s Super Bowl will get through the entire day without mentioning Tim Tebow. Or, put another way, he’ll be mentioned fewer times than Ray Lewis’ involvement in a murder. You may kibitz and such and such about the Super Bowl here…

There Will Be Teblood: This Is Just Getting Sad Now

By: Saturday November 10, 2012 11:49 pm

Based upon the fact that Tebow has been in on only 60 more offensive snaps this year than my mom has, maybe it’s time to devote the weekly NFL post to someone seeing more on-field action such as the long-snapper for the Browns. Having said that, Tebow is making the kind of sweet side-line QB [...]

There Will Not Be Teblood: The Week-Offening

By: Sunday November 4, 2012 7:58 am

…and on the ninth week, He rested. The New York Sky Pilots are off today which means more time for church for Juicebox Jesus. Praise! In the meantime, Timmy seems to be accepting The Role that God has planned for him: Tim Tebow developing close relationship with Jets’ special teams coordinator, Mike Westhoff Tebow was [...]

There Will Be Teblood: Is That A Dolphin Nose Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

By: Sunday October 28, 2012 2:09 am

Today the most overrated player and the second most overrated player in the NFL will take on Lauren Tannehill’s husband’s team in American non-metric futbol. Also. Too. …Tebow has become irrelevant with the New York Jets, despite all that talk this summer about how Rex Ryan and Tony Sparano might use him. In the past [...]

There Will Be Teblood: Get Thee Behind Me On The Depth Chart, Satan

By: Sunday October 14, 2012 8:16 am

All you need to know about why the Jets have not turned to God’s Less Magical Son to save them from Non-Playoff Hell can be seen in this weeks quarterback ratings: Mark Sanchez is the Hellbeast. Don’t think for a minute that Juicebox Jesus hasn’t noticed this…. Have it, you guys.  

There Will Be Teblood: Jesus On The Primetime, Tell Him What You Want

By: Monday October 8, 2012 4:34 pm

Skip Bayless confesses to a love/hate relationship with Juicebox Jesus: The God’s truth: I never much cared for Tebow when he played at Florida. I met him at last year’s Super Bowl, and interviewed him, only because he requested the session. I do not stay in touch with him. I’ve criticized him on air several [...]

No Blood Til Monday

By: Sunday October 7, 2012 12:03 am

  Since God’s more athletic son won’t be playing the football until Monday night, there will be no Teblood on this fine Sunday. However feel free to drunkenly ramble on in the comments about your own sucky sports team or whatever because Sunday is family fun-day or something or other.

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