There Will Be Teblood: The Ninering

By: Saturday September 29, 2012 11:43 pm

Lil Timmy may get some more playing time this week against the Niners because, well, we’ll let former professional sport scribe and current dazzling suburbanite and political wordsmith Charlie Pierce explain it all to you: As I mentioned earlier, the NFL has de-scabbified itself, which means there will be actual football to bet on… er… [...]

There Will Be Teblood: The Non-Flinging-ning

By: Sunday September 23, 2012 12:39 am

Last week, the the euphoria of the Jet’s opening game blow-out over Buffalo plummeted to the ground with the wobbly explosiveness of a Tim Tebow outlet pass on third and long. Through the first two weeks of the season the NFL’s most expensive novelty player has exactly as many passing attempts and completions as my [...]

The Return Of The Son of There Will Be Teblood: The Jettisoning

By: Sunday September 9, 2012 10:56 am

It’s that time of year again. Juicebox Jesus is in NYC as a back-up (as was foretold in the Book of Overthrows 3: long), and already Mark Sanchez has passed for two touchdowns (no small miracle, that) because God IS TESTING TIMMY by keeping him on the bench. Unfortunately, CBS is not televising the game [...]

Calvin Freiburger Does Not Care For Your Vagina Bowling Name

By: Tuesday May 1, 2012 12:29 pm

Forced birth homunculus Calvin Freiburger, who is a member of the HeartBeat Teens (which is surprisingly not a sexy boy-band), wishes to express his distaste with ladies who take their vaginas out for an evening of abortion bowling:’s Susan Berry reports on one of the pro-abortion movement’s more colorful fundraising ideas in recent memory: [...]

It Must Be My Mirthday, Cuz Look At All The Presents I Got

By: Wednesday March 21, 2012 11:26 am

Looks like I picked a bad day to go outside and play (busy all afternoon, then going to see Cults -those guys above – tonight), since this morning has bestowed upon us a virtual cornucopia of material. But, before I rush out the door, Jonah Goldberg-style, here is a collection of wonderfulness that might just [...]

Yeah. More Football Stuff Because Politics Is Boring Today

By: Monday March 19, 2012 1:51 pm

Stuff that happened after that Tebow post was posted down there. A Dolphin fan is very very very disappointed that owner Stephen Ross has been unable to attract anyone to his franchise outside of celebrities who want a piece of his shitty action. From his Wikipedia page which is soon to be corrected (or maybe [...]

Obligatory Tim Tebow Post

By: Monday March 19, 2012 10:28 am

In an effort to stem the flood  of emails, you can talk about Juicebox Jesus being replaced by Peyton “Rhymes With Satan” Manning here. Best of all worlds for Elway, unless Mannings neck acts up again in which case Elway will be vilified for betraying St. Timmy of the Wobbly Pass

Everybody Must Get Stoned

By: Sunday February 12, 2012 3:05 pm

Closeted Gay Turtle Mitch McConnell joins the No Condom For You Lunch Bunch: Not satisfied with President Obama’s new religious accommodation, Republicans will move forward with legislation by Sen. Roy Blunt (R-MO) that permits any employer to deny birth control coverage in their health insurance plans, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) said Sunday. “If [...]

Tebow Morning Coming Down

By: Sunday January 22, 2012 10:12 am

When we last saw Juicebox Jesus, he and the Denver TeBroncos were being beaten like the red-headed step-children of a lesser God by the guy who bangs supermodels and the other guy who hangs out with pornstars. Combine that with serial humper Newt Gingrich’s victory in evangelical South Carolina and it seems fairly obvious the [...]

There Will Be Teblood – The End Times Are Killing Me

By: Saturday January 14, 2012 10:30 am

In case you couldn’t tell by a weeks worth of St. Timmy of  The Holy 3:16 articles (“What If Tim Tebow Was Muslim? … “Is Tim Tebow Gay?” …. “Who Would Win In A Fight Between Tim Tebow and Superman?”) as well as political writers trying to wrestle to the ground some Tim Tebow: America’s [...]

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