You’re Prettier When You Don’t Talk

By: Tuesday August 6, 2013 10:45 am

Highly infectious Norwegian skin disease and GOP show-runner Reince Priebus is thinking of pulling the 2016 season of Wheel Of Fortune For Even Stupider People off of CNN and NBC because both of those networks have a ratings boner for Hillary Clinton: “We have to control the referees that we’re bringing into our playground,” Priebus [...]

Angry Black Man Unnecessarily Unkind To Unoffended Whitey

By: Wednesday July 31, 2013 6:51 pm

CNN found some of those anonymous “Democrats”,  who normally call Matt Drudge with Drudge Siren scoops, to spill the beans that President Shabazz X. Killmylandlord went all Chicago thug thizzle on some Congressional newbie this morning. Race war to commence…. NOW!: During a question and answer session Wednesday with Democrats on Capitol Hill, President Barack [...]

Homewrecker Considering Another Trip To The Applebee’s All-You-Can-Grift Bar

By: Tuesday July 23, 2013 11:03 am

Chronically unemployed novelty candidate and not best-selling author Christine O’Donnell, who treats the Delaware Republican Party like they ate the last piece of cheesecake in the refrigerator, is pulling a variation of the Palin Double Switch Coy Fake-Out where she hints at a  run for office again, dumb people send her money, and, in the [...]

Muslims To Remotely Change All Of Your Car Radio Presets To ShariaRock Top 40 Stations. Then Kill You.

By: Thursday July 18, 2013 10:09 am

In their mission to provide their viewers with only the most ridiculous paranoid conspiracies conceivable, Fox News “cyber-terrorism expert” Morgan Wright explains that the terrorists are going to take over your car remotely (presumably using an Xbox controller) and make you careen wildly out of the Taco Bell drive-thru before you can grab your 12-pack [...]

Must Credit Jesus. Then Go Take A Leak Against A Wall.

By: Tuesday July 9, 2013 10:35 am

Well, it’s Tuesday which means that, like the other six days of the week, conservatives must find something to be offended about because their anger at a world that goes out of the way to slight them on a daily basis is the animating force in their lives that allows them to get out of [...]

Creepy Ass Cracker Sees The Fire Next Time A’Comin’, Yeah Boy

By: Thursday June 27, 2013 11:51 pm

The Ole Perfesser, Glenn Reynolds, who holds the Abner Snopes Fancy Larnin’ Chair at University of Tennessee, hitches up his drawers, spits in the dust, and chews on the ragged edge of a Slim Jim as he points out that the high yeller President and his race pimp party want George Zimmerman to walk away [...]

Those Bolshevik Rapscallions And Their Blasted Velocipedes

By: Sunday June 2, 2013 5:47 pm

Someone at the Wall Street Journal Home for the Liver-Spotted, Phlegmy And Smelling of Three Week-Old Baby Powder, must have left the bed-rails down again because Dorothy Rabinowitz, who is so old that she used to baby-sit Phyllis Schlafly’s mom, is standing on the lawn in her nightgown and shaking her bony fist at that [...]

L’enfant Auteurrible – The Suckening

By: Saturday June 1, 2013 12:44 pm

So I spent the morning wallowing in the beating about the face and neck that the critics are giving to the joint Will Smith/M. Night Shyamalan poo-bath, After Earth (“Cypher Raige” ! “Nova Prime”! – somewhere an aspiring 12 year-old scifi writer is wondering who has been sneaking peeks into his trapper keeper). I have [...]

The Loneliest Patriot

By: Wednesday May 22, 2013 8:14 am

How was your IRS Protest Holiday celebration on Tuesday? Did you take the kids downtown so they could wave little Gadsden flags from the curb as a flotilla of Rascals motored by at a brisk four miles an hour, loaded down with PATRIOTS on their way to the local IRS office to protest the jackbooted [...]

Today in How Barack Obama Is Killing Everything That Is Good & Decent

By: Monday March 11, 2013 12:15 pm

Politico, and Politico’s little sister Buzzfeed (that’s the one that combines hard-hitting political coverage with 31 Animated GIFs of Adorable Fucking Kittens Doing Adorable Fucking Things), headline the morning with all of Barack’s Obamanations against humanity besides killing Anwar al-Awlaki, who is apparently the new Mumia. So who is all bummed out this time? White [...]

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